It's interesting how God chooses to speak to you. It's interesting how He can give someone just the right words to speak truth into your life. It's funny how sometimes that person is a different version of yourself.
I got a letter today. A letter I don't even remember writing. A letter that my 18-year-old self wrote to my future self. Apparently, my today self. A letter I wrote while I was at Capernwray. I don't remember what time during the year I wrote this letter. (I suspect near the end of my time at Capernwray because I sound surprisingly knowledgeable and really mature.) A letter full of reminders.
Honestly, this reminder from my younger self couldn't have possibly come at a better time. I needed this reminder. I needed it. I'm not gonna lie. I've compromised. I've strayed away. Not entirely, but enough that it bothers me. And I guess there's nothing really else to say except to share what the letter said.
Dear Older Janessa,
God will take you to some dark places. Life will throw you some lemons. People will come and go like seasons. Circumstances change all the time. Sometimes life just isn't fair. But despite these uncertainties in life, I want you to know that God doesn't ever change. He's bigger than the dark places, the seasons of loneliness, and the changing circumstances. And frankly, He makes amazing lemonade when given lemons. Always remember this truth everywhere you go: "Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." Whatever lies and misleadings Satan may bombard you with, God's truth is bigger and better.
I want to remind you that as a child of God, you are saved from the wrath and judgment to come. "There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ." Hardships and tribulation will come, God promises us that, but we are sealed by His blood and He will protect us from whatever we need to be protected from. "Oh death, where is your sting? Oh hell, where is your victory?" Death is not our defeat, it is our victory.
Remember that God is the owner and provider of everything. He owns all the money in the world and He entrusts it to whom He pleases. He possesses all the strength in the world and He gives it freely to those who seek it. He holds all the joy in the world and He blesses His children with it. Run to Him for everything you need. "He will supply all of your needs according to the riches and glory in Christ Jesus."
You are the exact person that God intended you to be. You are beautiful because He made you in His image and He is beautiful. He made you a more quiet and reserved person because He intends to use that personality through you to display His glory. He gave you a stutter because He knew that that would cause you to rely on Him completely. And only when you rely on Him completely are you truly who He made you to be.
As you are out doing the work of the Lord, I want to remind you who your focus point is: the Lord of the work. 1 Peter 4:11 says, "Whoever speaks, speak as though they are oracles from God; whoever serves, serve as one who serves by the strength that God supplies."
Yours truly,
18-year-old Janessa
I forgot how much God changed and transformed me two years ago. This was a good reminder. It's amazing that God prompted me to write to myself about changing circumstances, seasons of loneliness, dark places, and people coming and going from my life because that's everything I'm facing right now. 18 year old me seemed so put together. I wish 20 year old me was more like that.
God is bigger. God is better. God is brighter.
I need to remember that.
And I hope that this letter can be an encouragement to other people that happen across this blog post during their own dark places and seasons of loneliness.
Thank you for reading.
