I'm Thankful For...

It's American thanksgiving, which means it's the time of year to reflect on what we are thankful for. So here is a list of things that I'm thankful for this year (in no particular order, of course):

1. Exceptionally good music 

2. My squad of wonderful humans - Thank you for being great, thoughtful, hilarious, and fun people.

3. Psychology of Personality class at school - I have learned many things about myself through taking this class, as well as many things about people I know. This class has taught me to view myself, other people, and the world differently. Never thought that a university course could impact my life so much. 

4. Coffee - because obviously. 

5. Being privileged enough to live in a country that is free and safe and awesome - YAY CANADA

6. A new cell phone that has all working buttons 

7. A new-to-me car that gets me from home to university without any hassles 

8. Family that supports me, despite my constant status of being a "poor university student" 

9. The tools and resources I have access to and use to manage my school stress and anxiety issues 

10. Really good books for when I need a day off from the hum-drums of reality 

11. Really good movies for when I need a couple hours off from the hum-drums of reality (*coughs* I'm lookin' at you, Marvel) 

12. The many, many, many bursaries I was given this semester - A significant burden of financial stress has been lifted off me because of these 

13. A brain with the capability of understanding complex topics and memorizing way too many things 

14. A creative mind for when I need to pull out an overwhelming amount of thoughts from my head and onto a page in a way that is readable and, maybe even, enjoyable 

15. Smitty's chicken wings 

16. Very good professors, whether they are just very helpful or very eccentric or quite possibly crazy (and a TA that marks approx. 150 exams and posts the marks within two hours of the exam - God bless you Sparks) 

17. All the basics: food, clothing, shelter, health, money 

And last but certainly not least... 

18. Jesus - because let's face it, none of the above things would be a reality without You  

Some thoughts on peace & prayer

Dear readers,

Today I want to talk about peace.

I'm not talking about the kind of peace John Lennon sang about, or the kind of peace pacifists are passionate about. The kind of peace I'd like to write about is the kind that can only be found in the still places.

When I worked at camp, I remember some of the most memorable moments for me were when I'd get up early (about an hour or so before morning staff meeting) and I'd go sit outside, usually on the steps of the boathouse or against the rock climbing wall. Mornings at camp were so quiet and peaceful, and the lake just looked so still. I would take in these moments before the craziness of a camp day began. I found it so easy to connect with God when it was so quiet. I mean, one of the most famous verses from the Bible is Psalm 46:10: "Be still and know that I am God."

About two months ago, I had gone back to Cedarwood for a young adults retreat and I woke up at 6AM the first morning of the retreat for some reason, so I decided to do what I used to do, Mind you, this was in March and in Manitoba, so it was still dark outside and I didn't want to go sit outside in the cold and in the dark. I ended up sitting on the steps of the lodge for a while and I watched the sun come up. I experienced the same kind of peace that I had known previously at camp before a hectic day. (I lived in the city for the past two years and let me tell you, peace and quiet in the city is almost non-existent. I really cherished this moment at camp.)

What I have just written about isn't even the kind of peace I wanted to write about, though the two are closely related. Imagine the peace found near the lake at camp and put it on the inside. That's what I want to talk about, the kind of peace you experience on the inside: God's peace.

Have you ever asked people to pray for you in a certain situation that's going on in your life? Whether it be for work, school, family, friends, finances, faith, or relationships. People are always talking about how they want to see answers to their prayers, or how they saw their prayers impact someone's life, or how they prayed to see a change in someone's life. What some fail to remember is that not all answers to prayer are things you can see.

Recently, I had been having a not-so-good day. I was at school in the city and I was feeling weighted down by the pressures of life. My friends and I have a continuous group chat going on our phones and most of the time it's used to send funny pictures or tell stories about our days, but from time to time, we used it as a means to communicate our prayer requests and such to one another. So on this particular day, I sent off a vague request for prayer and my friends responded fairly quickly that they would indeed pray.

Now I know that sometimes when people say they are praying for you, they don't actually pray for you, but I also know that God does not require physically spoken words in order to hear our prayers. Anyway, I knew I was being prayed for one way or another. I had never before in my life actually felt the difference, but this time I did.

Now, the pressures of life that I was feeling and experiencing before I asked for prayer didn't just magically go away. In fact, it's kind of hard to explain what exactly I felt. This is what I wrote in my journal later that day: "I definitely wasn't all better suddenly, but there was a change. A noticeable change. I wasn't miraculously better, but I felt... lighter. Like I wasn't the only one carrying the load anymore."

What I experienced on my not-so-good day was what I think the peace of God feels like. There's a noticeable calmness or stillness inside that just simple wasn't there before.

After writing all this, I must admit that I'm not entirely sure whether this was more about the peace of God or the internal power of prayer, but I'll leave you off with a few things to chew on:

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. (James 5:13,16)

Until next time,
J

P.S. My friends are wonderful, thank you so much for all your prayers.

Spinning Plates: A Short Story

Spinning Plates: A Short Story

She had a dream one night that she was on a stage surrounded with spinning plates on wires, sort of something you would see on an old episode of Ed Sullivan. Her job was to keep the plates spinning, making sure that none of them hit the ground. She was running around fixing the wires constantly so the plates would keep on spinning. None of them could wobble, none of them could fall.

She was exhausted from all the running. She couldn't take it anymore, the fatigue was too great. She collapsed on the floor and blacked out.

When she awoke from her fainting, she expected to see all the plates broken on the floor, but instead she saw a man. And the plates were still spinning. The man came toward her and said, "Come now, let's go sit in the audience seats for a while." He helped her up and started guiding her to a seat.

"I can't sit down," she said, "I need to make sure the plates keep spinning. I don't want them to fall, I can't afford for them to break."

"Nonsense," the man told her, "you sit down and rest. I'll make sure they don't fall."

They sat down together in the front row of audience seats. They watched the plates spin together. Some of them wobbled a bit, which made her very nervous, but the man would lift his hands in their direction and it would become steady again.

Suddenly, they heard a loud crash from the far left of the stage. A plate had fallen to the ground, but luckily had not broken. She sprung off her seat and ran towards it. The man followed close behind. "Oh no," she said, examining the plate in her hands, "this plate's got a chip in it."

The man examined it as well. "You're right, but it's okay, the plate will still spin." They held the plate together, placed it back on the wire, and spun it.

Another crash sounded at the far right of the stage. She went running toward where the sound was and gazed upon the shattered plate in front of her. She knelt down and cried. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I've failed. The plate is broken. What now?"

The man started picking up the shattered pieces. "Oh well, we'll just have to glue all the pieces back together, won't we?"

"That's impossible," she replied through her tears, "even if we could pick up all the tiny little pieces, there's no way the plate could spin again. There's no point."

"Nothing is impossible." The man started to glue the pieces back together, one by one. Feeling a bit more encouraged, she helped the man with the pieces and the glue.

Soon the plate was back together. Sure, there were cracks and some chips missing, but at least it was together. "Come on now, let's see if it will spin." The man held the plate up to her and she took the other side. "Okay, on three. 1...2...3."

They spun the plate on the wire and sure enough, it kept spinning.

Pinterest-style encouragements...

For those, like myself, in need of encouragement and/or advice today, here is some. 

Courtesy of Pinterest. 

Now continue on with your evening.

Flashback Friday Post: Keep Your Eyes on Me

Originally posted October 15, 2011 as "Walk on the Water"

The air was very crisp. The breeze coming off of the lake was cool, just a hint of the temperature of the water. The waves were softly crashing against the boat I found myself in. The boat was gently rocking, as if it was rocking itself to sleep.

 One look up at the sky and I knew what to expect in the near future. Dark clouds were forming in the lowest places of heaven. The crackling of thunder haunted the other side of the lake, my destination. Suddenly, a streak of lightning shot through the pitch black canopy above my head.

  I needed to get to safety. I looked ahead; the storm threatened what lay in my future. I looked behind; the storm taunted what I put in the past. There was no way out of this storm.

The waves turned from softly crashing to violently galloping at the sides of my boat. The crisp air turned into a musky fog. The breeze turned into a full-force wind that had the temperature of death in it. It was freezing.

I saw a figure walking towards me, within the storm. At first I thought I was going crazy, that it was only a figment of my imagination. The storm was making me think things that I shouldn't. The storm was giving me one more reason to fear.

But this was real.

“Come out onto the water.” He said to me. “Come out onto the crashing waves.”

I was frightened. “Are you insane? I can’t leave this boat. I’ll drown!”

That’s when I saw him fully. He was walking on the water. “Come out into your storm. Just keep your eyes on me and I’ll keep you safe.”

I stepped out onto the rolling waves. To my surprise, I didn't sink. I kept my eyes on him.

I began to look down at my feet. Surely enough, I was walking on the water towards this man that I never knew. Or maybe I did know him. But as soon as I focused my attention on my walking, my feet began to be immersed in the salty water below.

I focused my attention back onto this man, just enough so that I’d get back on my feet again, so that I could continue walking on the water. I didn't need his help. I could do this on my own.

Eyes on my own feet, I paced faster. Only the faster I walked, the faster my feet sunk into the water. It was beyond frustrating!

“Why aren't you listening to me?” The man said. “Keep your eyes on me and I’ll keep you safe.”

Once again, I focused my attention on his face. My feet stopped slipping and I regained my balance. This time I kept my eyes on him for a little bit longer so that I could completely get back on my own feet. I left his eye contact.

My feet began to slip faster than they were before. I can do this on my own! I can do this on my own! I only need to think hard enough about it.

Suddenly, my waist was submerged in the water, too far for me to pull myself up. I needed help now. I called to him. “Please, save me. I’m going to drown! I shouldn't have tried to do this by myself. I should have listened to you! Please, I don’t want to die! I’m drowning!”

Immediately, a dry hand grabbed mine. He pulled me up, and then pulled me close to his chest. He leaned in to whisper something in my ear. “Why did you doubt, you of little faith?”

I started to sob. “I thought I could do it on my own, but now I realize that I can’t.”

“Don’t cry, dear one. I've got you now.” He said softly, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Now, let’s try this again. This time… keep your eyes on me.” 

God: The Maker of Beautiful Things

'cause I am a sinner

if it's not one thing, it's another 

caught up in words, tangled in lies

but You are a Savior

and You take brokenness aside

and make it beautiful, beautiful

(Brokenness Aside, All Sons and Daughters)

This has been a trait of God that I have admired for a long time, and it seems to have been following me around ever since I started seeking out characteristics of God. 

The most obvious place to view this characteristic of God is just simply walking outside your house. Now, I live in Winnipeg and it's currently winter and it's been a bit of a mild winter so there's dirty snow everywhere. Finding beauty in the middle of a mild, dirty winter in Winnipeg is a little difficult. But one morning, I woke up, got dressed, and walked to the bus stop just down the street from me, and I noticed that there was hoarfrost on the trees.

I realize that the above picture doesn't really do it justice (probably because it was taken with my old, dingy iPhone), but it captured the contrasted beauty nonetheless. There was such a beautiful tree beside what seemed like a very dirty, un-beautiful mess of a street. 

The second most obvious place to find a depiction of God's beautiful handiwork is on the very first book, very first chapter of the Bible. This is a story I have blogged about before and a story that has probably been preached on/talked about many, many, many times. I'm not going to write about how God created everything and it was good because everyone knows those obvious truths already. I just want to point out how the universe looked before God created a bunch of beautiful stuff. The universe was described as being "formless", "void", "dark", and "deep" (1:2). Those aren't exactly nice-sounding words. God took that formless, void, dark, and deep place and made it into something beautiful. 

I didn't realize until this past month that another place to find this characteristic of God is in history. God has been making beautiful things from crappy situations for as long as crappy situations have existed. A particular example of this would have to be the Holocaust. This was one of the worst tragedies of human history, and yet, there was still beauty hidden within the darkest of times. Such heartbreakingly beautiful stories of heroism and devotion to God came out of such a mess. Not to mention, the ending of the Holocaust resulted in the re-establishment of the nation of Israel, which the Jewish people hadn't seen for a very, very long time. 

Lastly, I believe the most important place you can see this characteristic of God is within the own workings of your life. Everyone sees the brokenness of life in different ways and in different places. There are broken hearts, broken people, broken relationships, broken families, broken nations, broken governments, and broken minds. But, fear not, God can make those things beautiful too. Tucked away in the book that proclaims that everything under the sun is meaningless, there is a verse that says, "He [God] has made everything beautiful in its time" (Eccl. 3:11). 

Our God has a knack for mending broken hearts. I, personally, have seen broken people be put back together by God's amazing grace. Broken relationships and broken families have been reconciled. Broken nations have proclaimed victory over their adversaries. Broken governments have been overthrown. Broken minds have been glued back together. 

So God is the maker of beautiful things. A simpler way to express this would've been to use the term "creator", but I didn't want to, because God is so much more than just a creator. Any old person can create things; I even create things. Believe me, if you ask any writer, painter, architect, chemist, engineer, activist, etc., they will tell you: not everything they create is beautiful. (Trust me, you wouldn't want to read some of the things I write.) 

So, not only does God create beautiful things, but He can orchestrate an ugly mess to look ravishing.  

Year of Simplicity & Discovering God

For those who have followed along with my sporadic blogging for the past few years, you know that I don't really believe in making new year's resolutions. Despite being a professional procrastinator, I believe that if you want to change something about yourself or your life, you should do it as soon as you wish it, instead of waiting for a new year. Because trust me, all you're doing in waiting for the new year to change is procrastinating.I know I'm being hypocritical in saying that, but just know that I'm actually mostly talking to myself when I'm writing these posts. 

I'm not calling this a new year's resolution because I started to try to implement this into my life when I first re-tweeted this picture back in November. I saw the below picture and instantly found it relevant to the struggles of my life.     

I have a really big problem with making my life more complicated than it needs to be, which I think is probably an issue for a lot of twentysomethings. The one that personally has the most impact on me is the fourth statement: Have questions? Ask. I have a bit of a pride thing where I don't like to ask questions if I don't understand something; I'm determined to figure it all out on my own. So I want to ask more questions. I'm at the point in my life where I have friends that are getting married and having babies and moving on with their busy lives and I miss them. So I want to make a point to stay in contact with them (though I still think it should be a two-way street). And various other applications these things have to my life which I won't go into. 

So here's to the Year of Simplicity. 

I'm also going to take the time to tell y'all about an epiphany I had last week (which I find kinda funny because last week was Epiphany). Last weekend, during church, something struck me. It didn't have anything to do with my pastor's sermon on listening prayer (though he said something that sparked my mind's bunny trail, which I don't exactly remember). Anyway, I feel like everyone wants to figure out who they are. That was my goal in 2013 (the Year of Independence) and frankly, I didn't get very far. I did this 30 things blog series where I answered questions about myself, but I realized last Sunday that if I asked myself those same questions this year, my answers would probably be different. It's impossible to figure out who you are because you change all the time. Lewis Carroll, in one of my all-time favourite books, writes, "I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." (Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass) 

This is very true. One of the characteristics of this world is impermanence. Our personalities change, our lives changes, our situations change. It's simultaneously wonderful and frustrating. But one of my favourite characteristics about God is that He doesn't change. (I briefly shared this on American thanksgiving as it was the one thing I was thankful for.) Hebrews states that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever" (13:8). In Malachi, the Lord promises "for I the Lord do not change" (3:6). So I want to focus on that this coming year. Instead of figuring out who I am (because that's a hopeless feat), I want to figure out who God is. I realize that I can't know everything about God but He promised in Jeremiah that those who seek Him will find Him (29:13). 

I believe that it's worth knowing who the God I worship and speak about actually is. 

I might post some of the things I'm learning on this blog, if I can successfully formulate my thoughts into words (which hasn't been my strong point lately). So here's what I propose: if you wish to hear about my realizations and such, keep reading this blog; if not, then don't.

I've been a Christian for 16 years (ish) and I still don't really know who God is. What's that about? 

So here's to the Year of Discovering God.