Like Stars in the Sky

"What is God's will for my life?"

That is probably the most common question I've heard from other Christians, and one that I have so many times wondered myself. We sit and ponder what God is doing with our lives and ask this sort of question. What is His will for me? What is my purpose in life? Should I apply for this job? Should I take this class or that one? Should I save my money for a vacation? Should I date that person? All the should I questions that only become what if's when a decision is made. What if this isn't God's will for me? What if I'm not on track? What if I chose the wrong career path? What if I never get the job I want? 

When thinking about all these questions I noticed they are all questions of guidance and direction. We are so obsessed with directing our life to look the way we want it to look. But maybe that's not what God is talking about when He speaks of His "will". Maybe how our life physically turns out doesn't ultimately matter. I think we all want it so desperately to matter because that's all we know, that's all we see. However I believe God's will goes much deeper than that. I think it has much less to do with what He wants you to do, and more about who He wants you to be. 

I recently sat down and had a conversation with someone who was quite disgruntled with their life. When they took a look at their life, they couldn't understand how this was God's plan for them. I, too, wonder the same thing sometimes. When things aren't going your way, when everything in your life seems chaotic at best, it's hard to imagine what kind of plan God is working on in the background. That's why I think God's will for someone's life goes way beyond circumstances and life outcomes. God's will for my life is to shape me into the kind of person He has planned for me and He uses life circumstances to do this. I admit, sometimes the things that come our way in life don't make sense and you can't imagine how God can use this to shape you into a better person, but He does. 

That's why verses like 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 actually make sense: 

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 

Being someone who rejoices, prays, and is thankful is part of God's will for us. (If you read the few verses previous, Paul also talks about things like patience, encouragement, living peacefully, and seeking good. I'm inclined to believe all these things apply as well.) 

I'm not going to lie and pretend that I have this whole thing down pat because I really don't. These things are genuinely hard things to do sometimes. I struggle with anxiety and a little bit of depression, trust me, rejoicing always isn't easy. Praying continually is difficult in a world that is so noisy. And being thankful in everything is hard when everything seems daunting. 

This is challenging, but I continue to really really love these verses. Why? Because I love practical things. These aren't big theological concepts that I read and have to figure out, these are actual things that I can live out in my day to day. So I thought I would share a little bit about how God has used this to teach me something. 

Rejoice always. This is probably the one of the three listed that I struggle with the most. I'm not really a naturally jovial person. In fact, I even remember when I went to summer camp during junior high and we were talking about the fruits of the Spirit. My counselor asked us which fruit we thought we could see most in our lives and least in our lives and even back then I could recognize that joy was the one I saw least. God has taught me, however, that true joy does not come from any person or any circumstance, but it comes from Him. I know, this seems like a thing I should've learned long ago, but it's still something God has to remind me of often. The world has conditioned us to believe that we can't truly find joy in life unless we measure up to this impossible standard that society has set for us. But this is blatantly false. The most genuinely joyful people I've ever met are often those who have very little in terms of worldly assets but have an abundance of Christ.

"For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings, I will sing for joy." (Psalm 63:7) 

Pray continually. When I visited St. Joseph's oratory in Montreal, I bought myself a little souvenir rosary. I didn't really know what it actually symbolized when I bought it, but I thought it looked kinda cool and I had seen them around all over the place. For Catholics, the beads act as a reminder to pray. For each bead on the string there is a specific prayer that's supposed to be recited. I came to really like the idea of a prayer reminder, so I hung my rosary from the rear-view mirror of my car. This has actually been very helpful for me because anytime I feel very overwhelmed or upset or worried about something (which usually happens when I'm in my car because I drive a lot) I see the beads with the cross hanging from my mirror and think to myself, "I need to declutter my brain and talk to God about this".

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." (Proverbs 12:25)

"Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

Being thankful in everything. This one is hard for me because I have a natural inclination to complain about things, and grumbling comes from a place of ungratefulness. One thing I've been challenged to do is actually writing down things I'm thankful for. Most recently, I felt challenged to write down reasons I am thankful for people who frustrate me before I begin praying about my frustrations. (That one is particularly difficult and truthfully, it hasn't been going as well as it should be.) Although, because of all this, I think God has been opening my eyes to see things in a different way. I think about people differently when I try to focus on the reasons I'm thankful for them. I think about life situations differently when I try to weed out the good things that could be happening or going on behind the scenes. 

1 Thessalonians also is not the only place that Paul talks about these three things. In Philippians, he speaks about "rejoicing always in the Lord" and giving everything to God in "prayer and supplication with thanksgiving" (4:4-6), And as I've said before, I believe that if something is repeated multiple times, its importance should be multiplied as well.  

So why is this important? I think the answer to that question lies in Philippians 2:14-16: "Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life." 

We certainly do live in a crooked and twisted society, and one day we will be free from its grasp, but until then God is using us to shine a light. Ultimately, that's what God's will is all about - being a witness to those around us, becoming people that radiate Jesus and His love. 

My absolute favourite part of the above passage is the image of being a star. Shining like stars in the sky. It really says something about God's ability to use anything in our lives for His ultimate glory because so often we see a star's brilliance in darkness. 

Lastly I uncovered something very interesting as I was looking up and pondering that passage. The Greek word used for 'star' or 'light' in that passage is only used one other time in the Bible... and it is found in Revelation 21:11 as John describes his vision of seeing the new Jerusalem coming down out of heaven, "having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel". Paul used the same word to describe us as John did to describe the new Heaven and Earth waiting for us at the end of time. And that's pretty awesome!

Keeping God in a Box

I was reading an article about doubt on the Internet a while ago (as in, about a year ago because that's when I wrote this). It was actually an extremely insightful article. I'll link to it at the end of this post if you are interested in reading it.

If I'm being completely honest with the world, I would have to say that doubt is one of the top things I have struggled with in my life. I not only grapple with it on a spiritual level, but also on a personal and relational level as well. But for the sake of everyone reading this, and myself, I only want to talk about spiritual doubts.

Doubt isn't a topic that's easy to talk about with other Christians. I'm aware that everyone has doubts or has had doubts at some point in their spiritual walk, I can say that with certainty. But there's still a stigma in the church about doubting. You feel like your faith is weaker than others, you feel like others are judging you because of your doubts. I've even encountered some people that have this mindset that doubting will eventually lead to abandoning the Christian life. Unfortunately, sometimes it does, but sometimes it doesn't. I personally think doubting is a really healthy thing for a Christian to grapple with. It challenges you to search for answers, it challenges you to examine your own life and faith, it challenges your view of who God is.

So why am I writing about doubt? Over the past year, I've come to partially realize why I doubt. Probably the most prominent reason why I doubt is because throughout my entire life, right from birth until writing this now, I've known nothing else but Christianity. I grew up with Christian parents. I went to church, Sunday School, and youth every week. I went to bible camp every summer. I even grew up in a very unique area of the world where Christianity was just a regular part of life, a lot of my teachers and classmates identified as Christians as well. My whole life has been saturated with Christianity. Even during my rebellious moments of middle school, high school, and young adulthood, I've always had this incredibly clear voice in the back of my mind distinguishing what was biblical and what wasn't.

Now let me ask you this: did you notice how I only talked about Christianity, and not about God? That's because I grew up with a general idea of who God was (more like what God does), and it took me until after I stepped out into the world on my own to discover that my idea of God was flawed. I could put my relationship with Him and knowledge of Him in a box and label it "Christianity".

Here's the number one thing I've learned about God over the past four years: He doesn't like being in a box. Boxes are confining and limiting. Have you ever tried putting something in a box that doesn't fit in it? I have. When I was packing last spring, I stuffed a blanket and some sheets into a box and taped it up. Almost immediately the box ripped open from the pressure because it couldn't contain how much was in it. God is too big for my box.

Most of the time boxes are used for storing things we hardly use. I have a boxes of stuff in my room full of sentimental things that I only peruse every couple years. God is too important to just be something that we take out of a box and tinker around with on a Sunday morning, Thursday night, or one week during the summer.

The whole boxes topic was on my mind constantly last spring, around Easter. And I realized something interesting. God doesn't like being put in a box, but He put Himself in one for us. The human body could be considered a type of box, a type of confinement. This big, huge, all-powerful, all-knowing, supernatural being put Himself in a tiny little body that needed to remember to eat, sleep, use the washroom, and could only travel so far in a day. Talk about confining! The apostle Paul addressed this concept in Philippians, writing "Though he [Christ Jesus] was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross" (2:6-8 NLT).

Not only did He lower Himself to life as a human, He also experienced death as a human. He boxed Himself in a human body, and then He boxed Himself into a human grave. But do you remember what I had mentioned earlier about my box of blankets and sheets? My box couldn't hold them in.

And the grave couldn't hold in Jesus.

So what exactly am I trying to say? My idea of God was that He was something I could stuff into a confining space and because of this, I viewed God as small. Too small to handle any big thing in my life, like BIG doubts. But this is something I have now experienced as blatantly false. God is too big and important for my box, but my doubts and questions aren't too big for Him.

Until next time,
Jay


Here's the article I mentioned:
What to Do When Wrestling with Doubt