I Say: Bah, Humbug!

I used to love Christmas. I used to get a huge adrenaline rush from finding the perfect gift for somebody. I used to be the first one in line to help set up the Christmas. I used to start my Christmas shopping as soon as Halloween was done. I used to start listening to Christmas music as soon as the advent season hit. In fact, I used to love Christmas this much... until last year.

Christmas got ruined for me. Don't worry, ruined in a good way. My idea of what Christmas was about deserved to get ruined... because it was wrong.

This is what Christmas is ACTUALLY about:

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life..." Philippians 2:3-16

You must be confused. What? A Christmas passage not from Matthew 1, Luke 2, or Isaiah 9? This is absurd. I think not.

We've turned Christmas into this "yay for Jesus Christ being born, but let's go buy some presents, get some presents and decorate our houses until we get epilepsy from all the flashing lights" holiday. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with presents and decorations in and of themselves, but it's our motives and attitudes that make the difference. All the decorations, all the presents, all the shopping and everything else that the world defines as "Christmas" is robbing people's hearts of what should actually be going on in there.

When I was in the 12th grade, my Sunday School teacher asked us to examine an old Christmas hymn of our choice and find the true meaning behind it. I chose O Holy Night. I think this particular hymn depicts pretty well what Christmas is all about. Jesus Christ is holy. Jesus Christ is Lord.

There's where the passage above comes in. Christmas is about CHRIST. It's not even just about Jesus being born. It's about Jesus in all His fullness. Jesus is GOD. Think about that for even two seconds... All-knowing, all-sufficient, all-powerful, the I Am, sovereign, holy, just, merciful, loving, faithful, deserving of reverence, awesome, almighty, everlasting, worthy of all glory and honor and praise, and anything else you can think of... God. He is limitless. And Jesus gave up His limitlessness to become limited; a human. He humbled Himself. One of the definitions of humbled is "to lower in dignity or importance". Completely independent God to completely dependent human. 

Our only job in life is to proclaim Him. The author of a particular famous Christmas hymn got it right when he wrote: "Go tell it on the mountain, over the hills and everywhere..." Are flashing lights, evergreen trees, perfectly wrapped gifts, stories of Santa and his reindeer, really proclaiming Him to the world?

"Shout it, go on and scream it from the mountains, go on and tell it to the masses, that He is God." - All Sons & Daughters

The Goal

I feel like the most inconsistent blogger ever. But the truth is, I often think "hey, I should post something on my blog", but then I open up a new post and my mind goes blank. Throughout the day, at work, I often think of something that I'd like to share on my blog, but then by the time I actually get home from work, the idea seems irrelevant.

But this, this I have to talk about. Because I work most weekends, I don't get around to going to church much. I think I've been to church 3 times in the last 3 months. It's a shame because I really miss it. But anyway, because of this, I've been listening to messages online from the church that my parents go to. For the last month or so, this church has been doing a message series on Jesus. So far, I've only listened to the first message... and I was astonished by how much I was challenged by it.

How many times in your life have you heard the phrase 'it's all about Jesus'? This is an absolute truth, but Christians have made it into a cliché. A cliché is an expression that has lost its effectiveness by being overused. We've used the phrase 'it's all about Jesus' so many times that we've lost the true meaning of it. We toss this phrase around so flippantly and then go on to live lives that are actually all about ourselves, not all about Jesus.

Then the pastor showed us an example of a life that was actually 'all about Jesus'. This was the life of Paul. "Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ." (Philippians 3:8) Paul gave up everything just to know Jesus. Because the worth of knowing Him is far greater than the worth of anything else. But the sad thing is, we've even made this verse a cliché. We go around preaching this verse to other people, then we go and live for the rubbish. Do you know what rubbish is? It's garbage, it's junk, it's waste. The King James Version of the Bible even calls it dung. Is that really worth more than knowing Christ?

I think the reason many of us have come to live this way is because we've reduced Christianity to a set of doctrines. Do this, and don't do that, pray like this, and don't pray like that, behave in this way, and don't behave in that way... and you'll get to heaven. But the thing is: heaven isn't the goal. Getting into heaven isn't why we're Christians. I've been around way too many people who believe that heaven is the goal in their Christian walk. And a lot of these people seem very legalistic to me.

Heaven isn't the goal, loving God is the goal. Being in relationship with Jesus is the goal.

Which commandment is the most important of all? "Jesus answered, 'Hear, O Israel; the Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:29-30)

"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full." (John 15:10-11)

None but Jesus

So I understand that it's been while...

Summer camp has now come to an end. I'm sure you realize that the reason I haven't posted a blog entry in so long is that camp has been super duper busy! Even though I really want to fill you all in on everything I've learned and everything I've experienced in the last 2 1/2 months, I honestly just can't. There's been so much that I can't physically relay it all to you in a blog post. But I will tell you about the one major lesson God taught me this summer.

So, if I'm being honest, I had a really hard time focusing on Christ this summer. There was one thing that I was constantly putting before Christ. I knew it was wrong, I knew I was sinning, but I just couldn't seem to let go of this one thing. Then finally, during Senoir High 2, God threw a bucket of cold water on my face (so to speak, of course). This was the week that my body decided that it wanted to burn out and part of my heart decided that I no longer wanted to care.

On the Tuesday afternoon of that week, I decided to spend my free time napping. But that napping changed into tossing and turning for a half hour. I knew that the Holy Spirit was convicting me of this idol I had put up in my life. I admit, I tried to justify my feelings about this idol... but I mean, it's God. He's ultimately always right. Justifying my actions just tired me out more actually. It was kinda dumb, and I was being a baby about it.

I ended up running into one of the other workers, who asked me what was up. So I told him that the Holy Spirit was convicting me on something and that I was being a baby about it. When I told him that I didn't know what to do, his response was "well, just stop being a baby about it". I was scheduled to do worship during After 8 that night, so I went up to practice with the band. The music director suggested that I sing a song called "None but Jesus", which ended up cutting the last little piece of thread that was holding me together.

The lines in the chorus go:
There is no one else for me
None but Jesus, crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring Him praise

God taught me that week that there really isn't supposed to be anyone or anything above Christ. God also taught me that He can't just be first on some list of priorities, He needs to saturate every single little thing on that list. I learned at Capernwray that Christ is my life. I guess this summer I forgot that... but I've been reminded again and I will continue to be reminded of that every day because God won't let me forget.

Here's a few verses that God used to teach me this summer:

"For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified."
- 1 Corinthians 2:2

"To them [his saints] God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ."
- Colossians 1:27-28

"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these things the wrath of God is coming."
- Colossians 3:5-6

I challenge you: is Christ #1 on your priority list or does He permeate everything on that list?

Staff Training Week 1

I've been at Cedarwood for about a week now. It's been really great so far. I've met some amazing people and learned soooo much about being a camp counselor and about God! I do admit that this week has been incredibly overwhelming... and next week is just going to be more overwhelming!

I'm teaching rock climbing as a skill at camp and I think this actually scares me the most! I'm so incredibly scared of heights or climbing, I'm not actually quite sure what it is. I have to actually be able to do the skill to teach it and I can't do it at all! I learned how to belay people yesterday, but so far I've dropped quite a few people (don't worry, they were okay... they only dropped about 10 feet). I'd have to say that this is probably the biggest challenge I've ever faced in my life. It scares me so much, you actually have no idea.

I've been going to summer camp ever since I could. I've never ever known exactly how much work gets put into it. It's amazing. I have a whole new appreciation for the camp ministry... now that I'm in it, I see all the hard work people put into it! I have a whole new appreciation for the camp counselors I had over the years.

Please, please, please, please pray for me, my belaying, my rock climbing, my fears, and the people that I'll be belaying. I'm gonna need it!

Looking Forward to Camp!

I apologize for my lack of posting since I've been home. I do, however, have something to blame it on... my house hasn't had internet access since I've been home. So every time I want to use the internet, I have to drive all the way to Steinbach (which, for me, is a 20 minute drive) to the nearest McDonald's.

I do really want to keep posting on my blog during the next part of my life. So here, I'll give you a little introduction to what I'll be doing. On June 17, I start the adventure that I like to call: "the crazy adventure of camp". Yes, that's right. This girl is going to Camp Cedarwood. It's something that I've felt God calling me to since the beginning of March. Initially, I was just going to work in the kitchen, but then, I accepted the offer of being a counselor during the summer months. This way I'll get the full camp experience. I still get super nervous about all this, but I'm starting to get really excited.

One of the things I absolutely LOVE about Cedarwood is that they believe after camp is just as important as the week of camp itself. I've so incredibly excited to actually build relationships with the campers! I look forward to doing life with them and discipling them for more than just one week at camp during the summer. I'm going to get the priviledge of seeing how much they grow in Christ after camp is done. I'm excited. You have no idea.

In other news, I finally have a new phone! My old one, which was severely cracked and had Ethan's name carved in the back of it, stopped working because of some sort of short circuit. The screen didn't work half the time. I am now the proud owner of an iPhone 4. Yippee! I am certainly not going to miss the Taylor Swift ringtone that was permanently programmed into my old phone, thanks to my brother.

Anyway, just wanted to update and talk about Cedarwood a little bit. Have a great day everybody. And thanks for reading :)

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good!

Never Changes

I've been home in the 204 for just over a day now. For some reason, being home always feels drastically different when you've been gone for some time. A huge part of me really doesn't want to be at home right now, because that huge part is still in Quebec with those people who have become a very routine part of my life. But I suppose there's a part of me that wants to be home because I just want to continue on with life. There's some exciting stuff.

I  came up with this little saying as a help for when I missed the people at bible school a lot: "Unless you've finished the book, when you end a chapter a new one begins. And you anticipate when you will find the characters from the ending chapter in the future ones. I believe that goodbye is never truly goodbye when you follow Christ, it's just see you soon."

God reminded me through my bible reading last night that He doesn't ever change. I was reading in Luke 12, and Jesus was speaking to the crowds about intrepreting the signs for the end. And, once again, I was struck by this because God has really been teaching me about Himself and what the end actually means in Him. He's been teaching me that one of the things I need to hope in is His return. Anyway, while I was reading this passage and was taken aback because God was continuing to teach me what I had already been learning at Capernwray. I guess, I should've expected it... I mean, just because I changed locations doesn't mean the lessons I'm learning change. So, through this, God reminded me that even though my locations, my circumstances, my emotions, my financial state, and everything else may change, He never ever does. He's the same God through and through.

Another thing that God reminded me on this morning was that He does it all. I was reading in Exodus 6 and I was amazed by how many "I will's" and "I promised's" and "I have's" that were in this passage. Even if I'm approaching a situation that I don't think I can even handle and when I think about it for too long I end up feeling very overwhelmed... God's got it. He will. He promised. And He has.

I have no reason not to trust Him.

Revelation

I apologize that I haven't posted anything really significant in a while. Life at Capernwray has really gotten busy. Since, my last post, I've experienced some really interesting things.


On April 28th, I went to my nation's capital, Ottawa! That was pretty exciting for me. Something I could strike off of my bucket list. The day was very enjoyable. The weather was wonderful and sunny. When we got to Ottawa, the girls and I eat our lunch on the grass in front of the Parliament buildings. We laughed and joked around. It was wonderful. Then we went around taking goofy pictures with the statues outside of the buildings. After that, we went for a tour inside the Parliament buildings. The girls and I spend the rest of the day in an outdoor market and checking out the cute little boutiques in the area. We ended off with a very short visit to the Hard Rock Cafe (it was grab and run).

From April 30th - May 4th, all the students went to help out at a Christian camp in Quebec named Camp des Iles. The week consisted of a lot of raking leaves and a lot of hauling out trees from the forest. By the end of the week, we cleared a good section of the forest out so the camp would have more space for the kids to go play. It's amazing how encouraging it is to a camp when you just go there and say, "Hey we're here to work. How can we help you?" The directors of the camp (which happen to be parents of a staff here) were very thankful at the end of the week.

On May 5th, I went on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. I'm not joking though... I did really enjoy the experience, but I don't think I'll ever do it again. I went white-water rafting with a couple of the students. It's impossible to stay in the boat and stay dry. Just sayin'. We signed up for two different excursions, but I only ended up doing one. I'm very glad I didn't do the second one too. Apparently, the boat I was in trashed really badly in the worst part of the second excursion, causing everyone to fall out and struggle for air. Even one of my peers said, "Janessa, I'm glad you didn't come. You probably would've cried." Ha. It's true though.

The chapter of my life called Capernwray Quebec is speedily coming to a close. I only have a week and a half left. There's only a week until my dad and little brother come to visit. I only have one more week of classes. Steve is ending the year off with teaching us on Revelation.

I'm really excited to hear what Steve has to say about the book. I still don't really know how I feel about everything pertaining to that book. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground. People either don't have an opinion about it at all or they have way too much of an opinion on it. I've encountered some people that think their opinion is the absolute truth. That bothers me. Some people get so caught up in all the pictures found in Revelation and some people get so caught up in the way things are gonna go down. People get so caught up in the what, where, when, why, and how that they forget what "the End Times" are actually all about: the Who. The first five words of the book of Revelation state what the whole book is all about: "the revelation of Jesus Christ". I don't know what's going to happen, where it's going to happen, when it's going to happen, why it's going to happen or how it's going to happen. But I do know this: Jesus Christ is coming back!

But until that day, whether or not it happens in my lifetime, I'll be waiting.

Thank You

[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank for for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth

[verse 1]
when I look around
I get overwhelmed
by this world full of chaos
it runs right at me
think I need a balance beam
on this earth so I don't fall off

[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank you for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth

[verse 2]
when I look at me
I'm blinded by what I see
just another face in the mirror
don't know where I'm going
don't like where I've been
wish my direction was clearer

[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank you for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth

[bridge]
so I'll run to you
and I'll flee from the things
that got me entangled
so I'll run to you
and I'll flee from the message
that I'm not good enough
for this world

[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank you for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth

[ending]
thank you for being you
thank you for being...
the only thing in this world that is True

Kids

I'm a woman. Society tells me that I'm supposed to be really good with kids (including the Christian society, might I add). Why am I not good with kids? Some women just have a natural mothering gene. No such gene exists in my body. It's kind of discouraging.

Just had to get this out of my system.

In Memory of Rachel Scott

Ethics vary with environment, circumstances, and culture. In my own life, ethics play a major role. Whether it was because of the way I was raised, the experiences I've had, or just my outlook on the world and the way things should be. My biggest aspects of ethics include being honest, compassionate, and looking for the best and beauty in everyone.

I have been told repeatedly that I trust people too easily, but I find that when I put my faith and trust in people when others would not dare to, they almost never betray me. I would hope that people would put that same faith in me. Trust and beauty is an investment you put in people; if you build enough trust in them and show yourself to be honest, they will do the same in you. I value honesty so much, and it is an expectation I have of myself. I will put honesty before the risk of humiliation, before selfishness, and before anything less worthy of the Gospel truth. Even in being honest and trustworthy, I do not come off cold and heartless. Compassion and honesty go hand in hand, if enough of each is put into every situation. I admire those who trust and are trustworthy.

Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. According to Webster's Dictionary, compassion means a feeling of sympathy for another's misfortune. My definition of compassion is forgiving, loving, helping, leading, and showing mercy for others. I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.

It wasn't until recently that I learned that the first and the second and the third impressions can be deceitful of what kind of person someone is. For example, imagine you had just met someone, and you speak with them three times on brief everyday conversations. They come off as a harsh, cruel, stubborn, and ignorant person. You reach your judgment based on just these three encounters. Let me ask you something... did you ever ask them what their goal in life is, what kind of past they came from, did they experience love, did they experience hurt, did you look into their soul and not just at their appearance? Until you know them and not just their "type", you have no right to shun them. You have not looked for their beauty, their good. You have not seen the light in their eyes. Look hard enough and you will always find a light, and you can even help it grow, if you don't walk away from those three impressions first.

I am sure that my codes of life may be very different from yours, but how do you know that truth, compassion, and beauty will not make this world a better place to be in and this life a better one to live? My codes may seem like a fantasy that can never be reached, but test them for yourself, and see the kind of effect they have in the lives of people around you. You just may start a chain reaction.

- Rachel Scott
www.rachelschallenge.org

April 22

April 22. It's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I already feel it to be one of those days. You know the kind I mean... the kind where you eat way too much chocolate, pretend to be productive but really aren't at all, neglect the projects that need to be done and the overdue assignment that's been calling your name all week. The kind of day where if you don't find someplace silent and alone, you fear that you'll actually go insane.

Here's my important note-to-self for today:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie. You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." - Psalm 40:1-5

Sighhhhhhh.. that's better :)

God Is Love

1 John 4:8
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

If God is love...

He is PATIENT
He is KIND
He is NOT ENVIOUS
He is NOT BOASTFUL
He is NOT ARROGANT
He is NOT RUDE
He does NOT INSIST on His own way
He is NOT IRRITABLE
He is NOT RESENTFUL
He does NOT REJOICE in WRONGDOING
He REJOICES in the TRUTH
He BEARS all things
He BELIEVES all things
He HOPES all things
He ENDURES all things
He does NOT FAIL

Now, knowing this is the God we serve and proclaim...

do our actions actually reflect this kind of God?

Let's Serve Lemonade

Life at Capernwray has already started picking up! Last week we were going through Isaiah and this week we went through Galatians and James.


In my personal devotions, I've been reading in Genesis, Judges, Job, Psalm, Proverbs, Isaiah, Mark, Acts, 2 Corinthians, and 1 John. I think that's 10. If not, I may have missed one. I thought that I'd share a little bit from what I've come across in my personal devos.

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." - Psalm 37:3-5
- God has really been showing me the things that I have put my trust in aside from Him. Like, this past week, God showed me that I was putting my trust in His plans, rather than in Himself. Yes, I believe that God prompted me to apply for a job, but I've been putting my trust in getting the job rather than the Giver of every job; Himself. Be careful what you are really putting your trust in.

"The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble." - Psalm 37:39
- We receive our salvation from the Lord and the Lord only. We cannot get our salvation from anything else, including religious activity!

"So Joseph found favor in Potiphar's sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had... And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it." - Genesis 39:4, 22
- Joseph got sold into slavery, but God had amazing plans for him there. Joseph got wrongly accused of having sexual relations with Potiphar's wife and got thrown into prison, but God also had amazing plans for him there. Lesson to be learned: when life throws you lemons (or something more sour, because I actually kinda like lemons), God has amazing plans for the kind of lemonade He wants to be made! An analogy, of course, but I'm sure He appreciates a refreshing glass of lemonade.

"As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies - in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." - 1 Peter 4:10-11
- I have really come to LOVE this passage. This may be wrong or it may be right, but this was how this passage was explained to me: Paul split the spiritual gifts into two categories. Gifts of speaking and gifts of serving. How I view this is up-front gifts and behind-the-scenes gifts. So whoever speaks should speak as though they are speaking the very words of God. And whoever serves should serve as though serving with the very strength of God. That's encouraging, because I know what it's like to serve on my own strength. It's exhausting. If you have true faith in Christ, you are a vessel of His strength. But why? "In order that in everything God may be glorified."

So, those are a few of the lessons I've learned or been reminded of in the past two weeks.

The last thing is a prayer request from me to you. I've been having trouble with my sleep lately. I wake up tired all the time. I know it's not because of irregular routine or because of a lack of sleep, but the amount of sleep I get is unsatisfying. So just thought I'd pop that out at you all.

You should listen to this song. It's powerful.

- You Love Me Anyway -

[verse 1]

The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind
Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside

[chorus]
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

[verse 2]

It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

[chorus]

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

[bridge 1]
I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

[bridge 2]

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

[ending]

But You love me anyway

It's like nothing in life that I've ever known

Yes, you love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

You love me, You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
 How You love me 

- Sidewalk Prophets -

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend! I went to a Passover celebration at a Messianic church in Montreal. It was really different, but really cool. Everyone should have the chance to celebrate Passover with a Messianic congregation. Gives you a new perspective on Jesus as the Passover Lamb. 

The Adventure Continues...

I apologize for not posting during my spring break. I meant to, but I never had the patience to sit down and think about what I wanted to say.

My spring break was rather interesting. I got sick three days in, and stayed sick throughout the whole time being home. But that was okay. I ended up spending copious amounts of time with my family, just watching movies and stuff. That was nice. Although if I'm being honest, I have to say that I really didn't want to come back to Capernwray yesterday. I felt as though my break wasn't done yet. But I'm here now anyway, if a little bit reluctantly. But I refuse to let that feeling interfere with what God wants to teach me today and this week.

God really taught me one lesson through and through during my spring break. Maybe it wasn't so much as a lesson as it was a reminder of something I already knew. Something that I'm sure everyone already knows. It's the lesson that God is always there. This lesson first came to me during study project presentations when one of my fellow students shared out of Joel. In Joel, the prophet repeats the words "never again will my people be put to shame" lots. Using this passage, Jordan (the person presenting this prophet) reminded us of another place in Scripture where God repeats Himself. "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5) Twice repeated, twice as comforting.

Then God really pounded in this message to me over the spring break while I was sick. Never once did I ever feel alone. Never once did I ever question God's whereabouts because I knew that He was there. Usually when something goes wrong in my life, the first question I ask is "Where are you, God?" But this time, I never had to ask because He made Himself known to me. It was a really cool experience. Even when I was grumbling and complaining about being sick (I have a serious problem with grumbling and complaining), He was still there, listening to my complaints. Felt quite ashamed at times of my childness.

Anyway, that's the reminder I got from God over spring break. Now I'm at Capernwray, learning about Isaiah this week from Bruce Campbell. We've only had one session (which was this morning), but it seems really interesting so far. He was one of my favourite lecturers in the fall term. Next week, I think Lawrence Jansen is coming again. This time to teach us Galatians. He was another one of my favourites in the fall term, so I'm really looking forward to what he has to say on Galatians.

There has been something crazy going on in my life for the last couple weeks. It started off as this crazy fantasy of working in the kitchen at a camp, but it has turned into this burden that I carry on my back. In the beginning, it really felt like God was the one orchestrating this crazy adventure, but now it seems like the doors of my heart have been coming to a close on this. But I don't know if it's God closing the door or if it's been just me. I'm in the process of filling out a summer staff application for this camp, but all the personal questions have me stressed out. In fact, every time I even so much as think about this camp or even look at the application, I start to feel incredibly overwhelmed by all of it. That is something that I could definitely use prayer for. Just pray that my heart will be in it if that's the ministry God wants to place me in.

Nothing but the Best

So the winter term at Capernwray Quebec is coming to a close. Tomorrow I will fly back home for my spring break, which I'm super pumped about. So much stuff happening and going through my mind.

Last term, I just relayed the lessons I had learned, but for this "term wrap-up" blog, I've decided to pick a few verses from the Bible that I've learned lessons from. I won't explain all the lessons I've learned from these verses, but I'll still write out all the verses.

1) 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 -> "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
- I've always been huge on practical things that I can do. I think this verse is very practical. The instructions: be joyful, pray, be thankful. And when you really think about these things, they should be easy to acknowledge. Maybe not easy in the out-working on them, but that's where faith in God comes in. When you find yourself being grumpy or moody, choose to be happy instead (this one's especially hard for me). Keep that open channel with God. Always be ready to hear His voice and to actually listen to it. I don't think that "praying without ceasing" means that you constantly, 24/7, have to be talking to God, but just going through life with a prayerful attitude. Always being in tune to God. And simply, be thankful. In every situation you find yourself in, be thankful for something. This verse does not mean that you need to be thankful for every circumstance, but to be thankful in every circumstance. That's something that I need to work on, but it's something I'm learning.

2) 1 Thessalonians 5:24 -> "He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."
- God's faithfulness astounds me all the time. I got a chance to look at this characteristic of God during my study project in Zephaniah. God was so faithful to the Israelites. He split the Red Sea. He gave them water (3 times) and food from the heavens. He physically was with them in the form of a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Yet the Israelites still didn't believe in God's faithfulness. Some of them still tried to go back to Egypt after that! At first glance, I just laugh and think that the Israelites are stupid. But then I realize that I do that all the time! I'll be astounded by God's faithfulness to me one day and then totally get stressed out the next day thinking that He's not big enough for the current problem. And I constantly find myself wanting to go back to my "Egypt". And God is the same: yesterday, today, and forever. So, one of the girls here posed this question in her study project: if God's faithfulness was the only thing you had in your back pocket, would that be enough?

3) Zephaniah 3:17 -> "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with singing."
- Would you look at all of those 'wills' in there? God's faithfulness.

4) Micah 6:8 -> "He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

5) 2 Timothy 2:22 -> "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."
- Read this blog post: The Pursuit of True Happiness

6) Habakkuk 2:1 -> "I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint."
- Read this blog post: The Watchpost

7) Malachi 1:13b -14 -> "You bring what has been taken by violence or is lame or sick, and this you bring as your offering! Shall I accept that from your hand? says the Lord. Cursed be the cheat who has a male in his flock, and vows it, and yet sacrifices to the Lord what is blemished. For I am a great King, says the Lord of hosts, and my name will be feared among the nations."
- God wants good sacrifices. I know that animal sacrifices don't apply to us anymore (thank God for Jesus Christ and our salvation through His death and resurrection!), but we still give other sacrifices to God. We sacrifice our time, our money, our habits, our hobbies, etc. for Him. And according to Romans 12:1, we're supposed to be offering ourselves up as living sacrifices. When animals sacrifices still applied, in the OT, God wanted the choice lamb. No blemishes, no broken legs, no tainted skin; nothing but the best. Do we still offer up "nothing but the best" for Him?

Well, those are just a few things that I've been learning and pondering for the last two and a half months. I've been learning a lot more, but I'm afraid I just don't have the time nor the energy to expound on any more for now. Maybe later. Or if you see me over my break, feel free to ask. I'd love to chat with you about all I've been learning. As Matt Mclean says, "You are blessed to be a blessing."

I've even been learning quite a bit more French. Of course I can't speak it that great, but my writing's not too shabby! "Je vous aime tous! Hier nous avons mangé des burritos pour dîner." Yay! And that's no word of a lie... we did have burritos yesterday. BBQ pulled pork burritos. They were so yummy!

The Watchpost

This week was fantastic. We had classes with Christine Wichart, who was teaching us all about church history. We went through everything from the Apostle Peter to Billy Graham. The class was called "Faithfulness Through the Ages"... and it was really cool to see how God was faithful in preserving His Church and His Word throughout the centuries. We also had study project presentations this week. I've never known so much about the minor prophets in my life. The minor prophets really are a treasure that everyone should read. We get to be reminded of the God we don't normally read about, a God of wrath and jealousy. Yet He's the same God we cherish so much in the New Testament. Even in the minors we get to see His love and mercy.


So, my devotional thought is from the minor prophets this time:
"I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what he will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint."
- Habakkuk 2:1

Habakkuk was lifting up his worries and complaints to the Lord about the Babylonians coming to destroy Judah. And he was waiting on the Lord to answer him.

Think about what it means to stand at the watchpost of a city. It's a commitment, it's a job you can't just leave. You can't just leave the watchpost because you're tired or bored. Yeah, it may be an incredibly boring job... just standing there and waiting for something or someone to come along, but you still can't leave. Is this the same attitude we have when we're waiting on the Lord? Or do we wait on the Lord until we get bored or tired of it, then just leave?

I know I'm guilty of this. I tend to wait on the Lord until I'm tired of waiting for Him, and then I go off trying to solve the problems I presented to Him on my own. How absurd is that? Often times it seems like we're waiting for a long time, but really, He's already started working. We tend to cover our eyes to the subtle things He does, but then scream and beg for Him to show us obvious things.

We need to let God open up our spiritually blind eyes.

Psalm 56

1 Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me;
all day long an attacker oppresses me;
2 my enemies trample on me all day long,
for many attack me proudly.

3 When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.
4 In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?

5 All day long they injure my cause;
all their thoughts are against me for evil.
6 They stir up strife, they lurk;
they watch my steps,
as they have waited for my life.
7 For their crime will they escape?
In wrath cast down the peoples, O God!

8 You have kept count of my wanderings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
9 Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me.
10 In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise,
11 in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

12 I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings o you.
13 For you have delivered my soul from death,
yes, my feet, from falling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

Who Do I Serve?

Here's a little food for thought:
"And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." - Joshua 24:15

We often quote the last sentence and forget the rest. The little bit before the main verse we put on a plaque in our homes really stuck out to me this week.

Who am I serving? Am I serving the gods of my fathers? Am I serving the gods of whose land I'm living in? Or am I serving the Lord?

In other words, for me... am I still following my parent's religion? Am I serving the gods of this world (pleasure, comfort, myself, etc.)? Or am I serving the Lord?

For a long time, I did just believe in God because that's what my parents believed. And that's totally fine until you're old enough to make it your own. Which I have.

Also, throughout my life, I have served the gods of this world. Everyone has, so I'm not the only one. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to enjoy comfort and to enjoy pleasure, but in Christ. Find comfort in Christ. Find pleasure in Christ. And I certainly do make myself a god some days, in fact, most days. I'm still learning. And I'll be learning for the rest of my life.

As for me, I want to serve my Lord, Christ Jesus.

Here's another little thing if you want to trigger some thoughts in your mind. It certainly has triggered some in mine. Like the classic children's song says...

"Joy is flag flown high from the castle of my heart, for the King is in residence there."

Zephie the Ninja & Valentine's

It's Saturday night. I'm listening to Owl City, because I've really come to love him. I've discovered a few new songs by him as well. He did a cover of Taylor Swift's Enchanted, for Taylor. He also did covers of In Christ Alone and How Deep the Father's Love For Us... two of my favourite church choruses!
Anyway, I've been working like mad on my study project for the past two days. I feel like I haven't come out of my room alot this weekend. I've nicknamed my minor prophet (for the study project) Zephie the ninja! The minor prophet is Zephaniah.

This weekend, when I wasn't hoarding up in my room working so diligently on my study project, I played a lot of games. On Thursday night, a bunch of us got together and played this game called Boxers or Briefs (it's like Apples to Apples). Then last night, a bunch of us played Quelf... which is probably the most random game in the world, but it's so much fun!

I know that a couple entries ago I talked about a list I was making, that I'd post on Valentine's. Which I didn't end up posting. Sorry for that, I actually kinda forgot about it. Capernwray life just got kinda busy, so I never got to finish said list. But it will go up sometime, because I still feel like it's important.

My Valentine's Day was interesting for sure. Normally I'm kind of apathetic towards Valentine's Day, but for some reason, this year was different. And I know that it's because I missed home. My roommate Yemima didn't really know what was going on because I cried. I don't cry alot, so she didn't know what to do. Basically I was missing my best friend. Valentine's was always our day. We'd get together, watch cheesy love movies, drink chocolate milk, and eat chips. And I was missing that this year. Plus she now has a serious boyfriend.

Valentine's Day has always been a day about celebrating friendship, even when I had a boyfriend. This year I just tried to remind myself about God's love and the friendships I've built here. I can't say though that these friendships are quite like what me and Joy have.

Anyway, that went a little deeper than I thought it would. Ha, good night!

World Religions - Pillars of the Fath

A couple weeks ago, one of my friends gave me the idea of sharing some of my completed assignments. So today I'm going to post my most recent assignment: World Religions - Pillars of the Faith.
Basically, as you know, my class went on Temple Tours this past week, and two weeks ago we had classes on all the major world religions. Our assignment was to give the pillars of their faith systems or religions. We also were challenged to add Christianity into our assignment.

Buddhism

- There are three pillars of the Buddhist religion: following the 5 precepts, maintaining the noble 8-fold path, and detaching yourself from the things of this world. The five precepts are as follows: don't take another's life, don't steal, abstain from sexual misconduct and sensual overindulgence, don't lie, and avoid intoxication. The noble 8-fold path consists of maintaining a right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right concentration, and right ecstacy. Lastly, you must detach yourself from the things of this world because attachment to the world brings suffering.

Isalm

- There are five main pillars of the Isalmic religion. The first is called "shahadah", which means your conversion. The second is called "salat", which means prayer. The Muslims do five daily prayers (before sunrise, at noon, in the afternoon, at sunset, and in the evening). The third is called "zakat", which means tithing. The fourth is called "sawm", which means fasting. The Muslims fast during the month of Ramadan, which is the month that their last prophet, Muhammad, got words from Allah, their god. The last is called "hajj", which is a pilgrimage to Makkah. Once in a Muslim's life, if physically and financially able, they need to go on a pilgrimage to Makkah, which is their holy city.

Hindu

- There are four main pillars of the Hindu religion: karma, dharma, artha, and moksha. Karma is living a good life, full of good deeds, in order to reincarnate into something better in your next life. Dharma is fulfilling your social, moral, and religious duties. Having good dharma gives you good karma. Artha is satisfying the desires of god. Moksha is the ultimate goal for Hindus. It is attaining liberation from the cycle of reincarnation and becoming one with their god.

Sikh

- There are five main pillars of the Sikh religion. In order to remain a baptized Sikh, you must follow these five pillars, or the five K's: kesh, kangha, kara, kirpan, and kachera. Kesh refers to their symbol of strength, which is uncut hair. A baptized Sikh will never cut their hair. Kangha refers to their symbol of hygiene, which is a wooden comb. A baptized Sikh will always wear this wooden comb in their hair. Kara refers to their symbol of an eternal god, which is an iron bracelet. A baptized Sikh will always wear an iron bracelet on the wrist of their dominant hand. Kirpan refers to their symbol of justice, which is a knife. A baptized Sikh will wear a special knife either on top of or underneath their clothing. Kachera refers to their symbol of fidelity, which is an undergarment. A baptized Sikh will always wear a special kind of undergarment.

Christianity

- I think the main pillar of Christian faith, which makes it unique from any other religion, is that it's not about our actions, but it's about having faith in Jesus Christ, Lord and resurrected Saviour of all. Because it's not about our actions, it's hard to pin-point specific pillars or disciplines in the Christian faith. Though, generally, the following disciplines are practiced as an outworking of our faith in Christ: reading the Bible, praying, tithing, evangelism, and fellowship.



From India to Israel

We just finished a super big week at Capernwray Quebec. A big week, filled with all kinds of religious activity. On Wednesday afternoon, we visited a Buddhist temple in Ste. Julienne. On Thursday, we visited a Jewish synagogue (the largest and most prestigous in Montreal), St. Joseph's Oratory (Catholic), and a Muslim Mosque. And on Friday, we visited a Hindu temple and a Sikh temple. The point of visiting these different places of worship was to learn more about their religion.

The Buddhist temple was interesting. It didn't really help that the Buddhist monk there didn't speak English; he spoke the language of Laos and a little bit of French. So I didn't really learn too much from the visit, but I know quite a bit about Buddhism already, so it was okay. While everyone was trying to listen to the French and Laos that was going on, I just scanned the temple. There were so many statues and colourful trees. It was really cool looking, but it just baffled me.

The Jewish synagogue was my second favourite visit out of all of them. The synagogue was so extravagant. It really amazed me. The main hall where they hold their services is HUGE. The rabbi who showed us around was super funny. He was making jokes and stuff all the time. What was really cool was that he pulled out one of the Torah scrolls and sang some of it to us.




St. Joseph's Oratory gave me the heebie-jeebies. I've never really understood a lot of the Catholic religion. This oratory was very much focused on the man that founded it, Brother Andre. We even went into the crypt church beneath it to see his tomb. These two women were praying to this tomb. There were two men praying to this wall as well. Also, Brother Andre's heart was taken from his body and pickled. This I found rather disturbing. Let's just say I was glad to get out of there... I really loved the architecture though.

 The Muslim Mosque was certainly interesting! There was a man there that decided to try to prove to us that Jesus actually never died or rose again. He tried to quote the Bible, but he quoted the Bible wrong. It was kind of unprofessional. But, in turn, I thought that my fellow students weren't very respectful either, not in the Mosque, but after, on the drive home. Some of them felt the need to pick apart everything the guy said about Jesus and put the guy down. It's been two days and they are still talking about it. Just because he was disrespectful toward us doesn't give us the right to be disrespectful to them, including when they aren't present.

The Hindu temple was certainly interesting. Our tour guide was a world religions professor from McGill University (who I suspect, even though he didn't directly reveal it, was a follower of Hinduism). Something I learned about Hindus that I didn't know before: they actually only believe in one god, Sheva (or depending on the denomination, Vishnu). The reason they have so many idols and altars is because their "god" has many different ways of manifesting himself/herself/itself. See, I'm actually learning stuff on this tour!

The Sikh temple was my favourite place actually. The lady that toured us around was super nice and very respectful. I had never heard of this religion before, so I learned a ton. The Sikh religion actually does not care about people converting. Sikhs are actually encouraged to learn about other religions! Their belief is that all religions follow one god and that in the end, we will all be together. So, instead of pressuring people to convert to their religion, Sikhs actually encourage people to seek and follow their own religion. It was a nice change from other religions. Equality is very important to them also. Men and women are completely equal, so are Sikhs and non-Sikhs. Afterward, they also served us lunch. Indian bread, curry lentil soup, yogurt, and homemade chai tea. It was so delicious!

Now, what did I come away with? Honestly, I came away with more of an assurance of my faith. To me, Christianity is sounding more and more like the only thing that makes sense. Now, I don't want to sound conceited or to come across as someone who has "arrived", but I honestly don't feel like it's necessary to bash other religions. Yes, what they believe isn't true, but that doesn't give us merit to bash them. Let's help them. After learning about their religions, let's not make fun of them or put them down, because honestly, how is that representing Christ to them? Even if they don't know about our making fun or bashing, we still know and so does God. I was really bothered by what happened pretty much every day on the way home from these various temples; bashing. God finds them just as valuable as any one of us, even if they don't acknowledge it.

I'm going to end this entry on a lighter note... this is going to sound like deja vu, but guess what happened on Wednesday night while I was doing dishes! I sliced my pointer finger open. It was nothing a little gauze and polysporin couldn't solve, but just thought I'd share.

The Pursuit of True Happiness

This week we were going through the books of Timothy.
1 Timothy 6:11 -> "But as for you, O man of God, flee these things [Paul was previously talking about false doctrine and the love of money]. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness."

2 Timothy 2:22 -> "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart."

These two verses really struck me because they use both the words 'flee' and 'pursue'. Then, I realized that almost every time, if not every time, the word 'flee' is used in the NT, it is paired with 'pursue', or something similiar. This indicates that every time we are to flee from something, we're supposed to be pursuing something.

Now, this was my question: what does it mean to flee? What does it mean to pursue? Fleeing is essentially running for your dear life! Pursuing is running towards something as fast as you can, in the hopes of capturing something. I think of my dog, Duke, running after the cars that drive down my road, trying to bite their tires.

One thing I've noticed about humans, myself included no doubt, is that we often just avoid the things we should be fleeing from. But avoidance just implies that it's still available for us if we want it. Fleeing means that it should be no where near us.

Another thing is that, although we might understand the 'fleeing' thing, what do we pursue? Do we really end up pursuing righteousness? Faith? Love? Peace? Purity? Or do we end up trying to push the 'line' as far as we can, as long as we think it's okay? We may end up attaining self-righteousness.

This really challenged me because my whole life I've always ended up pursuing things other than the One who wants to be pursued. These are the questions I've been immensely challenged with this week: what should I be fleeing from? Am I pursuing something other than God?

Let's make this personal. Since very early on in my life (as in about grade 2), the pursuit of my life has been a good reputation. I've always cared way too much what people think about me. In more ways than one, this pursuit has led to self-destruction, feelings of worthlessness, and doubting that anyone will ever love me. What I've been noticing and accepting more and more in the last year is that I am of immense value to my Creator. He wouldn't have created me otherwise. I am of immense value to the people around me; my family, my friends, and my church family. And it doesn't really matter if I'm not beautiful in everyone's eyes, or if I don't have a boyfriend, or if I have a stutter, because God created me just the way He wanted me. He gave me the body I have for a reason. He gave me the personality I have for a reason. He gave me the stutter I have for a reason. (And I just know that He's got a super unique plan to use it!)

Let go and let God.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

I don't really know what to do with myself today! It's Sunday at Capernwray, and I would normally be hurrying to do my assignment, but this weekend I finished my assignment early. I finished it yesterday. I only did for one reason though.
You see, I got this new book! It's called 'The Case for a Creator' by Lee Strobel... and it's so great! Anyway, one of the girls here took it away from me, saying that I could only get it back when I was done my assignment. The only logical thing to do: finish my assignment as fast as possible... so I did!

I realized yesterday that I'm kind of a weird person. I would rather read a non-fiction information book than a fiction book. I mean, I'm so pumped about reading this book that's full of science... nerd much? Ha, oh well, I'm okay with being weird. I also don't like pizza, which everyone here thinks is weird. I also have a really strange selection of music... lots of contemp Christian, along with some Michael Buble (because your iTunes isn't complete until it has that), lots of country, and my personal favourite... Owl City. Also, one of my favourite things to do in the world is to read blogs. I love it when my friends have blogs... but not very many of them do. I also like making lists...

The current list that I'm working on (which I plan to post on Valentine's Day) is the little things I love in life. I'm the type of person who often focuses on the bad things in life, so I decided that I would create a list of all the strange and not-so-strange things I love in life. The very first entry of this blog (the "getting to know me" one) has ten of the things that will be included on this list!

I think the people reading this blog should also make a list of the little things they love in life... then email them to me! I'd love to read 'em. I think my list is going to consist of about 100 things.

I've been thinking about my future again, which usually only causes frustration and stress on my part. But it's been okay lately. I know that I'm probably going to be working next year because I don't have any money to do anything else. I also really want to get involved in my church when I'm home again. Don't know what to do, but I trust that God'll find somethin' for me to do! And I think I'm fairly certain as to what I want to take in university. I know I've said that for a long time and it keeps changing, but I've decided not to worry about what I want to do in my life. I'm going to go to university for what interests me... biology and religious studies. There's lots of stuff that you can do with those, and I bet I'll enjoy most of them.

Anyway, you guys are probably wondering... "Janessa, are you still in bible school? 'Cause you haven't posted anything that you've learned in a while?" Well, you are in luck today!

According to what Jesus said in Matthew 22:36-40, the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love others. I've kind of learned how to understand these commandments a bit better. It's a lot like breathing.

Loving God is like breathing in. And loving others is like breathing out. You have to breathe in, in order to breathe out. And you have to breathe out, in order to breathe in. Try only breathing in... doesn't work. You have to exhale at some time. Try only breathing out... doesn't work. You have to inhale at some time. Love God and love others, the two go hand-in-hand.

This has revolutionize my life, actually. I've realized that I actually dislike loving others, but I have no problem with only loving God. But that's not the way God intended. I can't only inhale. And I can't love others without first loving God. I need to breathe in and breathe out.

Something to chew on.

Oh and I got new glasses!

Jump then Fall

Later this weekend I will fill you in on what I've been learning in classes and whatnot, but this entry I want to use as a personal discovery reflection. That didn't really make much sense, maybe it'll make more sense after I explain.

I notified some of you about my testimony-sharing that was to happen on Friday. Just thought I'd inform you that it went splendidly. Later that day, a girl from Winnipeg told me that she was proud of the fact that I left Steinbach because she said that a lot of girls in rural Manitoba areas just stay there... marry someone from around there and just get stuck there.

So after this encounter, today to be exact, I was listening to music and Taylor Swift's "Jump then Fall" song came on. And as some of you know, I often get strangely inspired by her music. The lyrics in this song that inspired me are: "don't be afraid to jump then fall".

I've decided that my life goal is going to be just that: not to be afraid to jump then fall. I'm always been scared to step out in the world, and recently, I've been learning that it's okay. 'Cause God will always be with me. I know that God's gonna call me to great things (whether it be in Manitoba or not) and I don't want to be too freaked out to actually do them! I want to be open to taking risks.

I don't wanna be afraid to jump then fall.

McGill to Romans to Armpits to Music Team

Week two is coming to a close. This weekend is going to be great, full of assignments and hanging out. I'm really excited about it. We're actually hosting a group of university students from McGill University this weekend, so it'll be fun to hang out with them and get to know them a little bit.
We finished up Romans this week, and went through the book of Hebrews. What a jam-packed week! Two very bulky books, in my opinion. I've been learning lots from both of them. In Romans, we hit a lot of the controversial things (like predestination, foreknowledge, etc.). I realized this week that I'm actually not as opinionated on those subjects as most people are. I used to be really opinionated on it (when I didn't even know enough to have an opinion on it lol). I don't really understand why people get so frustrated on those subjects. Yes, my human brain cannot wrap itself around the concept that God predestined as to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, while still giving us free will. But I honestly don't really think we need to understand it. We can't understand everything about God... and that's the beauty of it, He's God. He's not like us, thank goodness.

Next week we're learning about 1 Peter and World Religions. I'm really excited about those actually. I think it'll be really sweet to learn about other religions in the world, what they're all about and stuff. That's something I'm interested in. Just to see what other people believe. One day I know that I'll probably run into lots of people that don't believe the same thing as me (basically just have to leave Steinbach and bible school), and I want to be able to talk to them. I would like to be able to understand where they're coming from.

Community Help team has been going really good. We've nicknamed ourselves "pleine de muscles", which translates to "full of muscles". I'm not quite there yet, but maybe sometime in the future. We shovelled snow again on Tuesday, for the same elderly couple. There is a ridiculous amount of snow here. I'm not sure if it ever stops snowing! Man, did my muscles ever hurt the next day! Did you know that there's a muscle in your armpit? Who knew! I didn't until I discovered that it hurt on Wednesday!

Now... in this bit of news, I will be needing some prayer. In two weeks, Capernwray Quebec is hosting a youth retreat. As in us, the students, are organizing a youth retreat for local kids. Each of us first year students are separated into three groups: decorating, games, and music. You would NOT believe which group I'm in. That's right: I'm on the music team. Oh, and it gets better: I'm singing, with only one other girl. I'm so scared, it's not even funny! I must've sang too loudly in the shower one day in order to get myself into this position. Don't get me wrong, I think I'll enjoy it. The others on the team are so musically talented... and I just feel like I'm mediocre. I guess I'd just like prayer for the songs I have to learn, for working together with a team, a little more confidence (not too much), and a little less nervousness!

These are a few of the songs I have to learn:
Our God is Love - Hillsong United
Your Love Never Fails - Jesus Culture
No One Like You - David Crowder Band
You're Beautiful - Phil Wickham (I will personally enjoy this one the best because I really like this song, but I don't know it. I've only heard it a couple times.)
The Time Has Come - I forget who this is by
Set Free - Chris Tomlin & Matt Redman

I only actually know two of the songs (as in know the lyrics, I've heard them all before at least once) that we're singing over the weekend. Those songs are: The Stand by Hillsong United and How He Loves by David Crowder Band. Looks like I'm going to be only listening to the above eight songs for the next two weeks... I'll have to set aside my country and Jack Johnson. Shucks.

I invite all of you to download and listen to these songs for the next two weeks with me! Even better if you already have them! But things could be worse. I mean, my preparation for my youth retreat job is listening to music... how much better could it get?

Simple is Beautiful

Oh the joys of Capernwray!
I've completed my very first week in the winter break. Although, it seems like I've been here for longer, probably because I have kinda been here for longer (I was just gone for a month).

This week, Steve taught us about the book of Romans! Ooooooooh. It was really good. We aren't done it yet though, because Steve always takes more than one week to teach a book. Next week we're doing the rest of Romans and then Matt is teaching us about the book of Hebrews. Oooooooooh!

I've been learning a ton of stuff already, but surprisingly, it's actually not coming from the classes. The cook and I are doing a Bible reading plan. Basically, this plan splits the Bible into ten sections. I'm supposed to read ten chapters of the Bible a day, one chapter from each section. The sections are:
1) Matthew, Mark, Luke, John
2) Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy
3) Romans, the Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians
4) the Thessalonians, the Timothies, Titus, Philemon, James, the Peters, the Johns, Jude, Revelation
5) Job, Ecclesiates, Song of Solomon
6) Psalm
7) Proverbs
8) the History books (Joshua through Esther)
9) the Prophets (Isaiah through Malachi)
10) Acts
After you're done reading each section, you start over from the beginning of that sections. So as you read the Bible, all the sections and chapters start to wind together. In the end, you'll end up reading Acts and Proverbs A LOT. And they are really good books.

I actually started this plan before Christmas break, but I wasn't very diligent at home with reading my chapters. I've been doing significantly better whilst at school.

Anyway, what I want to tell you guys in this blog entry is that the simplest verses, that you've heard a thousand times before, can all of a sudden sound incredibly amazing to you. This happened to me this week.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all

circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What astounds me about this verse is that it's so simple. What also amazes me is that the three things mentioned here all work together. In all circumstances, I need to give thanks, rejoice, and pray continually. A lot of people say that it is more difficult to do these three things during hard circumstances, but I beg to differ. For me, I find it harder to rejoice, give thanks, and pray continually when things are going good. When things are going good, I often forget about God's goodness. I become blinded by the mindset that I've got to this good place alone, when really I haven't. In fact, it's pretty impossible to come to a good place without God. I tell ya though, I have no problem getting myself into a bad place. I don't need help with that, ha.

Anyway, that's just one of the things I've learned through my reading of the Bible.

I've started to really get into books by Lee Strobel. I read his "The Case for Christ" book and absolutely loved it. I ordered two more of his books today from Amazon: "The Case for a Creator" and "The Case for the Real Jesus". I'm really excited to get them.

Last night, all of us got together in the main lounge, around the fireplace, and cooked bannock. That was super fun. It was all very cozy and stuff. Greg made this delightful chocolate spread to put on the cooked cannock. It was amazing!

Anyway, until next week!

Lost in the Woods

I've been "home" at Capernwray for two-ish days now. I just got back from shovelling snow at an old couple's house in Rawdon. That's what the community help team did today. We shovelled snow for about an hour, then went inside to have a snack and play some Skip-Bo with the couple. That was super fun.

I flew completely by myself for the first time. First time going through security by myself, finding the gate by myself, and getting my own luggage in Montreal by myself. I even used one of those luggage carts for the first time (I love those things, they are awesome!). I know that it doesn't seem like much, but I think it's a pretty big accomplishment for me.

We have 9 new students this term. A couple girls from Germany, a guy from BC, a couple of girls from Alberta, another girl from Quebec, a girl from Brazil, and even one girl from Winnipeg. They're all pretty awesome. I haven't completely got a chance to get to know all of them yet, but I'm sure that I will get the chance.

Yesterday, basically all of us went on a walk up to High Point. Then a few of the guys had the idea that we should go down the cliff into the forest and a bunch of snow. Instead of just doing back up the cliff/hill and following the trail back to the school, we decided to just find another way back. We ended up getting lost. Luckily, there was someone with an iPhone, so we GPSed our way back. So we ended up practically hiking for an hour, all together as a group!

Well, just wanted to let you know what was going on with me in Quebec. Classes have been good so far. We are currently in the book of Romans, which Steve is teaching us. I'll probably post again at the end of the week talking about some stuff I've learned because Romans is quite a loaded book.

Ahhh... it's good to be back at Capernwray :)

Love,
Janessa