[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank for for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth
[verse 1]
when I look around
I get overwhelmed
by this world full of chaos
it runs right at me
think I need a balance beam
on this earth so I don't fall off
[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank you for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth
[verse 2]
when I look at me
I'm blinded by what I see
just another face in the mirror
don't know where I'm going
don't like where I've been
wish my direction was clearer
[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank you for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth
[bridge]
so I'll run to you
and I'll flee from the things
that got me entangled
so I'll run to you
and I'll flee from the message
that I'm not good enough
for this world
[chorus]
thank you for holding my hand
thank you for holding me still
thank you for having a plan
even if it doesn't match with my will
thank you for being my Dad
thank you for holding my tears
thank you for not getting mad
when you're next in line to my fears
thank you for being you
thank you for being Truth
[ending]
thank you for being you
thank you for being...
the only thing in this world that is True
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Kids
I'm a woman. Society tells me that I'm supposed to be really good with kids (including the Christian society, might I add). Why am I not good with kids? Some women just have a natural mothering gene. No such gene exists in my body. It's kind of discouraging.
Just had to get this out of my system.
Just had to get this out of my system.
Monday, April 23, 2012
In Memory of Rachel Scott
Ethics vary with environment, circumstances, and culture. In my own life, ethics play a major role. Whether it was because of the way I was raised, the experiences I've had, or just my outlook on the world and the way things should be. My biggest aspects of ethics include being honest, compassionate, and looking for the best and beauty in everyone.
I have been told repeatedly that I trust people too easily, but I find that when I put my faith and trust in people when others would not dare to, they almost never betray me. I would hope that people would put that same faith in me. Trust and beauty is an investment you put in people; if you build enough trust in them and show yourself to be honest, they will do the same in you. I value honesty so much, and it is an expectation I have of myself. I will put honesty before the risk of humiliation, before selfishness, and before anything less worthy of the Gospel truth. Even in being honest and trustworthy, I do not come off cold and heartless. Compassion and honesty go hand in hand, if enough of each is put into every situation. I admire those who trust and are trustworthy.
Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. According to Webster's Dictionary, compassion means a feeling of sympathy for another's misfortune. My definition of compassion is forgiving, loving, helping, leading, and showing mercy for others. I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.
It wasn't until recently that I learned that the first and the second and the third impressions can be deceitful of what kind of person someone is. For example, imagine you had just met someone, and you speak with them three times on brief everyday conversations. They come off as a harsh, cruel, stubborn, and ignorant person. You reach your judgment based on just these three encounters. Let me ask you something... did you ever ask them what their goal in life is, what kind of past they came from, did they experience love, did they experience hurt, did you look into their soul and not just at their appearance? Until you know them and not just their "type", you have no right to shun them. You have not looked for their beauty, their good. You have not seen the light in their eyes. Look hard enough and you will always find a light, and you can even help it grow, if you don't walk away from those three impressions first.
I am sure that my codes of life may be very different from yours, but how do you know that truth, compassion, and beauty will not make this world a better place to be in and this life a better one to live? My codes may seem like a fantasy that can never be reached, but test them for yourself, and see the kind of effect they have in the lives of people around you. You just may start a chain reaction.
- Rachel Scott
www.rachelschallenge.org
I have been told repeatedly that I trust people too easily, but I find that when I put my faith and trust in people when others would not dare to, they almost never betray me. I would hope that people would put that same faith in me. Trust and beauty is an investment you put in people; if you build enough trust in them and show yourself to be honest, they will do the same in you. I value honesty so much, and it is an expectation I have of myself. I will put honesty before the risk of humiliation, before selfishness, and before anything less worthy of the Gospel truth. Even in being honest and trustworthy, I do not come off cold and heartless. Compassion and honesty go hand in hand, if enough of each is put into every situation. I admire those who trust and are trustworthy.
Compassion is the greatest form of love humans have to offer. According to Webster's Dictionary, compassion means a feeling of sympathy for another's misfortune. My definition of compassion is forgiving, loving, helping, leading, and showing mercy for others. I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.
It wasn't until recently that I learned that the first and the second and the third impressions can be deceitful of what kind of person someone is. For example, imagine you had just met someone, and you speak with them three times on brief everyday conversations. They come off as a harsh, cruel, stubborn, and ignorant person. You reach your judgment based on just these three encounters. Let me ask you something... did you ever ask them what their goal in life is, what kind of past they came from, did they experience love, did they experience hurt, did you look into their soul and not just at their appearance? Until you know them and not just their "type", you have no right to shun them. You have not looked for their beauty, their good. You have not seen the light in their eyes. Look hard enough and you will always find a light, and you can even help it grow, if you don't walk away from those three impressions first.
I am sure that my codes of life may be very different from yours, but how do you know that truth, compassion, and beauty will not make this world a better place to be in and this life a better one to live? My codes may seem like a fantasy that can never be reached, but test them for yourself, and see the kind of effect they have in the lives of people around you. You just may start a chain reaction.
- Rachel Scott
www.rachelschallenge.org
Sunday, April 22, 2012
April 22
April 22. It's only 3 o'clock in the afternoon and I already feel it to be one of those days. You know the kind I mean... the kind where you eat way too much chocolate, pretend to be productive but really aren't at all, neglect the projects that need to be done and the overdue assignment that's been calling your name all week. The kind of day where if you don't find someplace silent and alone, you fear that you'll actually go insane.
Here's my important note-to-self for today:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie. You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." - Psalm 40:1-5
Sighhhhhhh.. that's better :)
Here's my important note-to-self for today:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie. You have multiplied, O Lord my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." - Psalm 40:1-5
Sighhhhhhh.. that's better :)
Thursday, April 19, 2012
God Is Love
1 John 4:8
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
If God is love...
He is PATIENT
He is KIND
He is NOT ENVIOUS
He is NOT BOASTFUL
He is NOT ARROGANT
He is NOT RUDE
He does NOT INSIST on His own way
He is NOT IRRITABLE
He is NOT RESENTFUL
He does NOT REJOICE in WRONGDOING
He REJOICES in the TRUTH
He BEARS all things
He BELIEVES all things
He HOPES all things
He ENDURES all things
He does NOT FAIL
Now, knowing this is the God we serve and proclaim...
do our actions actually reflect this kind of God?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
If God is love...
He is PATIENT
He is KIND
He is NOT ENVIOUS
He is NOT BOASTFUL
He is NOT ARROGANT
He is NOT RUDE
He does NOT INSIST on His own way
He is NOT IRRITABLE
He is NOT RESENTFUL
He does NOT REJOICE in WRONGDOING
He REJOICES in the TRUTH
He BEARS all things
He BELIEVES all things
He HOPES all things
He ENDURES all things
He does NOT FAIL
Now, knowing this is the God we serve and proclaim...
do our actions actually reflect this kind of God?
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Let's Serve Lemonade
Life at Capernwray has already started picking up! Last week we were going through Isaiah and this week we went through Galatians and James.
In my personal devotions, I've been reading in Genesis, Judges, Job, Psalm, Proverbs, Isaiah, Mark, Acts, 2 Corinthians, and 1 John. I think that's 10. If not, I may have missed one. I thought that I'd share a little bit from what I've come across in my personal devos.
"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." - Psalm 37:3-5
- God has really been showing me the things that I have put my trust in aside from Him. Like, this past week, God showed me that I was putting my trust in His plans, rather than in Himself. Yes, I believe that God prompted me to apply for a job, but I've been putting my trust in getting the job rather than the Giver of every job; Himself. Be careful what you are really putting your trust in.
"The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble." - Psalm 37:39
- We receive our salvation from the Lord and the Lord only. We cannot get our salvation from anything else, including religious activity!
"So Joseph found favor in Potiphar's sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had... And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it." - Genesis 39:4, 22
- Joseph got sold into slavery, but God had amazing plans for him there. Joseph got wrongly accused of having sexual relations with Potiphar's wife and got thrown into prison, but God also had amazing plans for him there. Lesson to be learned: when life throws you lemons (or something more sour, because I actually kinda like lemons), God has amazing plans for the kind of lemonade He wants to be made! An analogy, of course, but I'm sure He appreciates a refreshing glass of lemonade.
"As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies - in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." - 1 Peter 4:10-11
- I have really come to LOVE this passage. This may be wrong or it may be right, but this was how this passage was explained to me: Paul split the spiritual gifts into two categories. Gifts of speaking and gifts of serving. How I view this is up-front gifts and behind-the-scenes gifts. So whoever speaks should speak as though they are speaking the very words of God. And whoever serves should serve as though serving with the very strength of God. That's encouraging, because I know what it's like to serve on my own strength. It's exhausting. If you have true faith in Christ, you are a vessel of His strength. But why? "In order that in everything God may be glorified."
So, those are a few of the lessons I've learned or been reminded of in the past two weeks.
The last thing is a prayer request from me to you. I've been having trouble with my sleep lately. I wake up tired all the time. I know it's not because of irregular routine or because of a lack of sleep, but the amount of sleep I get is unsatisfying. So just thought I'd pop that out at you all.
You should listen to this song. It's powerful.
In my personal devotions, I've been reading in Genesis, Judges, Job, Psalm, Proverbs, Isaiah, Mark, Acts, 2 Corinthians, and 1 John. I think that's 10. If not, I may have missed one. I thought that I'd share a little bit from what I've come across in my personal devos.
"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." - Psalm 37:3-5
- God has really been showing me the things that I have put my trust in aside from Him. Like, this past week, God showed me that I was putting my trust in His plans, rather than in Himself. Yes, I believe that God prompted me to apply for a job, but I've been putting my trust in getting the job rather than the Giver of every job; Himself. Be careful what you are really putting your trust in.
"The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord; he is their stronghold in the time of trouble." - Psalm 37:39
- We receive our salvation from the Lord and the Lord only. We cannot get our salvation from anything else, including religious activity!
"So Joseph found favor in Potiphar's sight and attended him, and he made him overseer of his house and put him in charge of all that he had... And the keeper of the prison put Joseph in charge of all the prisoners who were in prison. Whatever was done there, he was the one who did it." - Genesis 39:4, 22
- Joseph got sold into slavery, but God had amazing plans for him there. Joseph got wrongly accused of having sexual relations with Potiphar's wife and got thrown into prison, but God also had amazing plans for him there. Lesson to be learned: when life throws you lemons (or something more sour, because I actually kinda like lemons), God has amazing plans for the kind of lemonade He wants to be made! An analogy, of course, but I'm sure He appreciates a refreshing glass of lemonade.
"As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies - in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." - 1 Peter 4:10-11
- I have really come to LOVE this passage. This may be wrong or it may be right, but this was how this passage was explained to me: Paul split the spiritual gifts into two categories. Gifts of speaking and gifts of serving. How I view this is up-front gifts and behind-the-scenes gifts. So whoever speaks should speak as though they are speaking the very words of God. And whoever serves should serve as though serving with the very strength of God. That's encouraging, because I know what it's like to serve on my own strength. It's exhausting. If you have true faith in Christ, you are a vessel of His strength. But why? "In order that in everything God may be glorified."
So, those are a few of the lessons I've learned or been reminded of in the past two weeks.
The last thing is a prayer request from me to you. I've been having trouble with my sleep lately. I wake up tired all the time. I know it's not because of irregular routine or because of a lack of sleep, but the amount of sleep I get is unsatisfying. So just thought I'd pop that out at you all.
You should listen to this song. It's powerful.
- You Love Me Anyway -
[verse 1]
The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind
Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind
Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside
[chorus]
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me
[verse 2]
It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?
[chorus]
But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
[bridge 1]
I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway
[bridge 2]
See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life
[ending]
But You love me anyway
It's like nothing in life that I've ever known
Yes, you love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
Oh Lord, how You love me
You love me, You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me
- Sidewalk Prophets -
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter weekend! I went to a Passover celebration at a Messianic church in Montreal. It was really different, but really cool. Everyone should have the chance to celebrate Passover with a Messianic congregation. Gives you a new perspective on Jesus as the Passover Lamb.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
The Adventure Continues...
I apologize for not posting during my spring break. I meant to, but I never had the patience to sit down and think about what I wanted to say.
My spring break was rather interesting. I got sick three days in, and stayed sick throughout the whole time being home. But that was okay. I ended up spending copious amounts of time with my family, just watching movies and stuff. That was nice. Although if I'm being honest, I have to say that I really didn't want to come back to Capernwray yesterday. I felt as though my break wasn't done yet. But I'm here now anyway, if a little bit reluctantly. But I refuse to let that feeling interfere with what God wants to teach me today and this week.
God really taught me one lesson through and through during my spring break. Maybe it wasn't so much as a lesson as it was a reminder of something I already knew. Something that I'm sure everyone already knows. It's the lesson that God is always there. This lesson first came to me during study project presentations when one of my fellow students shared out of Joel. In Joel, the prophet repeats the words "never again will my people be put to shame" lots. Using this passage, Jordan (the person presenting this prophet) reminded us of another place in Scripture where God repeats Himself. "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5) Twice repeated, twice as comforting.
Then God really pounded in this message to me over the spring break while I was sick. Never once did I ever feel alone. Never once did I ever question God's whereabouts because I knew that He was there. Usually when something goes wrong in my life, the first question I ask is "Where are you, God?" But this time, I never had to ask because He made Himself known to me. It was a really cool experience. Even when I was grumbling and complaining about being sick (I have a serious problem with grumbling and complaining), He was still there, listening to my complaints. Felt quite ashamed at times of my childness.
Anyway, that's the reminder I got from God over spring break. Now I'm at Capernwray, learning about Isaiah this week from Bruce Campbell. We've only had one session (which was this morning), but it seems really interesting so far. He was one of my favourite lecturers in the fall term. Next week, I think Lawrence Jansen is coming again. This time to teach us Galatians. He was another one of my favourites in the fall term, so I'm really looking forward to what he has to say on Galatians.
There has been something crazy going on in my life for the last couple weeks. It started off as this crazy fantasy of working in the kitchen at a camp, but it has turned into this burden that I carry on my back. In the beginning, it really felt like God was the one orchestrating this crazy adventure, but now it seems like the doors of my heart have been coming to a close on this. But I don't know if it's God closing the door or if it's been just me. I'm in the process of filling out a summer staff application for this camp, but all the personal questions have me stressed out. In fact, every time I even so much as think about this camp or even look at the application, I start to feel incredibly overwhelmed by all of it. That is something that I could definitely use prayer for. Just pray that my heart will be in it if that's the ministry God wants to place me in.
My spring break was rather interesting. I got sick three days in, and stayed sick throughout the whole time being home. But that was okay. I ended up spending copious amounts of time with my family, just watching movies and stuff. That was nice. Although if I'm being honest, I have to say that I really didn't want to come back to Capernwray yesterday. I felt as though my break wasn't done yet. But I'm here now anyway, if a little bit reluctantly. But I refuse to let that feeling interfere with what God wants to teach me today and this week.
God really taught me one lesson through and through during my spring break. Maybe it wasn't so much as a lesson as it was a reminder of something I already knew. Something that I'm sure everyone already knows. It's the lesson that God is always there. This lesson first came to me during study project presentations when one of my fellow students shared out of Joel. In Joel, the prophet repeats the words "never again will my people be put to shame" lots. Using this passage, Jordan (the person presenting this prophet) reminded us of another place in Scripture where God repeats Himself. "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Joshua 1:9, Hebrews 13:5) Twice repeated, twice as comforting.
Then God really pounded in this message to me over the spring break while I was sick. Never once did I ever feel alone. Never once did I ever question God's whereabouts because I knew that He was there. Usually when something goes wrong in my life, the first question I ask is "Where are you, God?" But this time, I never had to ask because He made Himself known to me. It was a really cool experience. Even when I was grumbling and complaining about being sick (I have a serious problem with grumbling and complaining), He was still there, listening to my complaints. Felt quite ashamed at times of my childness.
Anyway, that's the reminder I got from God over spring break. Now I'm at Capernwray, learning about Isaiah this week from Bruce Campbell. We've only had one session (which was this morning), but it seems really interesting so far. He was one of my favourite lecturers in the fall term. Next week, I think Lawrence Jansen is coming again. This time to teach us Galatians. He was another one of my favourites in the fall term, so I'm really looking forward to what he has to say on Galatians.
There has been something crazy going on in my life for the last couple weeks. It started off as this crazy fantasy of working in the kitchen at a camp, but it has turned into this burden that I carry on my back. In the beginning, it really felt like God was the one orchestrating this crazy adventure, but now it seems like the doors of my heart have been coming to a close on this. But I don't know if it's God closing the door or if it's been just me. I'm in the process of filling out a summer staff application for this camp, but all the personal questions have me stressed out. In fact, every time I even so much as think about this camp or even look at the application, I start to feel incredibly overwhelmed by all of it. That is something that I could definitely use prayer for. Just pray that my heart will be in it if that's the ministry God wants to place me in.
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