19 is a weird age.
Wanna know when the very first moment I felt like an adult was? It wasn't when I graduated from high school. It wasn't when I turned 18. It wasn't when I moved out of my parent's house. It wasn't when I travelled by myself for the first time. It wasn't when I applied for my own credit card. It wasn't when I bought my own groceries for the first time. It wasn't when I bought pots and pans and cutlery for my house. It wasn't when I slept the first night in a house that I had all to myself. I don't know why it was this particular moment, but it just happened that way. The very first moment I felt like an adult was this moment:
The first time I bought toilet paper.
When you live with your parents, toilet paper really isn't something you concern yourself with buying. You just always assume you have it. Parents buy toilet paper, and you don't. When someone my age goes into the grocery store to buy toilet paper, it just sort of screams, "I'm an adult. I live alone."
When I was about 10 years old, I used to religiously watch this show on CBC called The X. I would watch it every day with my brothers after school. There was a segment on the show where kids and teens could send in questions via their website and the host of the show would answer them. The host's name was Anthony. One day, this question came in: if you could stay a certain age your whole life, what age would that be? I remember Anthony's answer very clearly. He said that he'd pick 19 because it's perfectly nuzzled between childhood and adulthood. He said that a 19 year old had all the privileges of an adult, but was still young enough to just relax, enjoy life, and have a good time. Ever since that day, I've looked forward to being 19.
This is what 19 feels like to me.
My first reaction to being 19 was this: a very insignificant age. Turning 19 isn't really a big deal in Manitoba. It's kind of like a filler year. Turning 18 was a big deal: you can now drink and vote and buy lottery tickets, woot! Turning 20 is kind of a big deal too because now you're officially not a teenager. But 19? Nope, pretty insignificant.
Taylor Swift has this song on her newest album called '22'. And you guessed it, it's about being 22 years old. She uses this lyric to describe what being 22 is like: "we're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time". To me, that sounds a lot like being 19. I think her concept of what being 22 is like is a wee bit off, but I could easily be wrong. Guess I'll find out in about 2.5 years.
All of a sudden, almost simultaneously, everyone you know starts getting married, having babies (on purpose), dying, or complaining about how they'll be 'forever alone'. For this reason, you try to spend as little time as possible on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social networking app to avoid the copious amounts of engagements, pregnant belly pictures, and funeral announcements. And you get incredibly discouraged when you realize that you're just gonna have to get used to it because this'll be happening for the rest of your life, whether you like it or not. Oh how bittersweet modern technology is.
There is one thing I hate most about being 19 though. You are expected to reason and behave like an adult. Yet these same people that hold this expectation of you continue to treat you like you're a child. This doesn't seem right, no? But what do I know, right? I'm only 19.
19 is a weird age.
