#28: Words

#28: What is your love language? 

What are they again?
words of affirmation/encouragement
quality time
gifts
acts of service
physical touch

I actually had no idea what my love language was until this year. Whenever we talked about this in church, or wherever, I always just kind of guessed. It switched between a few of them.

What I discovered is that you'll find out pretty quickly what your love language is if you don't receive it.

My love language is words of affirmation/encouragement. I don't necessarily need people to tell me they love me (because honestly, that actually makes me feel a bit uncomfortable), but I need to hear that I'm doing a good job. I need to hear that I'm doing something right. I need to hear that someone's proud of me. That's when I feel the most loved.

I think people often mistake my love language for acts of service. I'm always so surprised and very appreciative if someone does something for me, but that's not my love language. (In fact, most of the time, I like to do things myself anyway because I'm one of those people that likes things done a certain way.) Actually, I think acts of service is probably #4.

My #2 is definitely quality time. I think that surprises people sometimes because I'm very introverted. But I can definitely tell that quality time is up in the rankings of love languages for me. For example, I haven't hung out with my best friend since her wedding two months ago and I'm going absolutely crazy.

If you know me at all, you know that my very last love language is physical touch. It's funny because I used to love hugging people and stuff like that, but now it just makes me uncomfortable. (It probably has something to do with trust/intimacy issues that I have, but I can't believe I just said that, yet I'm gonna keep it on the post anyway because I want to be open and honest. Change of subject now...)

As for gifts, I like giving them and I like receiving them, but it's not really a huge thing for me. Like I would be fine if I didn't get any gifts for Christmas or my birthday, I'd rather spend time with the person.

That's that.

Until next time,
au revoir mes amies

#27: Hair

#27: What is your favorite part of your body and why? 

This is such a random question.

I think I'd have to say my hair.

Yeah, it's kinda frizzy. And it's curly, so it's sometimes hard to manage.

I don't even remember what my natural color is. Somewhere between brown and blonde and orange.

Why do I like my hair?

Because it's the only part of my body that I can easily change if I don't like it?
Don't like the color? Dye it!
Don't like the length? Cut it!
Don't like the way it's styled? Restyle it!
(I just realized how weird of a word "style" is.)

It's the only part of me that I can cut off and donate to charity. That sounds a bit weird. I like that I can grow it out, chop it off, and donate it to Wigs for Kids. I'm gonna keep doing that.


Oh, and Merry Christmas everyone!
Or Happy Holidays!
Or Happy Winter Solstice!
Or Seasons Greetings!
Or Happy Belated Hanukkah!

Pick one that applies to you.      

#26: Soul Mates & Singleness

#26: What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong? 

This is a good question. At first, I had no idea what to say. I spent some time googling what other bloggers have said and nothing really resonated with me. Some people wrote about politics, religion, and other stuff like that. I can't tell you how many blogs I came across that used this question to rant about homosexuality, but it was quite a few. (I actually lost count after about 15.) But then it came to me. I have no idea why this didn't come to me earlier, it certainly seems like an answer I'd have right off the bat.

My answer: SOUL MATES

I think the notion of soul mates is absolutely ridiculous. I, maybe, believed in soul mates for about 5 minutes. When I was 15. And stupid. Maybe "stupid" is too strong of a word. Naive.

I don't believe in soul mates for these reasons...
1) I don't like the idea of the person I'm going to marry being picked out for me already. This seems selfish, but personally, I'd like to have a say.

2) It's kind of cruel when you think about. So, basically, what the world is telling me is that God plopped me and some guy somewhere on this earth, and we're supposed to find each other? This notion causes way too many 'what if' questions in my head. What if I got plopped in Canada while my so-called soul mate got plopped in China? What if I never make it to China? What if my so-called soul mate thinks he's gay? What if my so-called soul mate has already gotten hit by a bus!? (Mine probably has, if he exists.)

3) The belief in soul mates kind of implies that one of your major life goals is to find said person. I can't speak for other people, but finding a marriage partner is not a top priority for me. And honestly, I don't think it should be for anyone. (Some people must be just going crazy right now after reading that.) Finding salvation should be higher than that. Living life in the present instead of dreaming about the future should be higher than that. Your goal in life shouldn't be to go out searching for that perfect person, nor should it be to sit around and wait for that person to come to you. Yes, go out and live. But don't do it for those reasons.

4) That inevitable "maybe he's the one" attitude. I'm pretty sure every girl has experienced this at some point in her life. Every single guy you meet that talks to you or is even remotely nice to you, there's always a little voice in the back of your head that says "maybe he's the one and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after". (I love fairytales, but I also really hate them.)

5) The belief in soul mates implies that there is somebody out there for everybody. I hate to break it to ya, but sometimes people stay single. And do you know what? That's okay!!! Bold, in italics, underlined and exclaimed! Another popular notion that I think the world (especially the Christian world) has all wrong is that marriage is something that everyone's destined to. Have you ever been to a church service when the pastor is giving a sermon series or stand-alone sermon on marriage? They seem to always wiggle this statement into their opening words: "And for the singles in the congregation, you can apply this stuff when you do eventually get married." When, not if. Eventually too. Because it's so tedious that you're not married yet. *Sarcasm Alert* (Confession: I purposely don't go to church for a few weekends when there's a message series on marriage happening. Does that make me a bad Christian?) Sorry for the mini-rant.

6) The belief in soul mates implies that there is a chance you could marry the wrong person. I'm not married, so I don't really know anything. (And I often don't hear marriage sermons because I purposely don't go, so I apparently really don't know anything.) But I could foresee this being a problem: You get married. Everything's great. But then maybe you change, or your spouse changes, or the novelty of marriage begins to wear off. And you begin to think: "Maybe I didn't marry my soul mate." Or you meet someone else that you're more compatible with and you think: "Maybe this person is my soul mate, not the person I'm married to."

I like what one of my church friends said once: the person becomes your soul mate after you marry them.

So that is my answer to said question in a nutshell. There isn't some guy out there waiting to find me, nor is there some guy out there waiting to be found by me. Some people are called to singleness. Stop treating that calling like it's taboo. Like it's a bad thing.

Marriage is not the only place love is found in.

Before I go off on another rant...
au revoir 


If interested, here are some additional blog posts to read by other bloggers on the topic of singleness and stuff of that sort...
Surviving Church as a Single by Jon Acuff
Singles & the Church: Why It Sucks to Be Unintentionally Overlooked by Kate Hurley
Single & Not Waiting  by Rachel Selinger
My Husband is Not My Soul Mate by Hannah @ theartinmylife

Study Anagrams

Here's a little bit of what goes on inside my head when I'm studying.

I love anagrams. (Is that they're called?) Man, do they help me remember stuff!

Thought I'd share some fun ones from my today's studying with you.
Anagram (what I need to remember)


TO REMEMBER...

...what influences food choices
Phil Has Ten Small Army Ants (preference, habit, traditions, social interactions, availability, associations)
Evan Values Black Nation (emotions, values, body image, nutrition)

...food consumption trends
David - (dichotomous dining)
Quits - (quilt cuisine)
Smoking - (speed and feed)
So - (speed scratch cooking)
Fast - (five-a-day)

...types of eating styles
Natalie - (night eater)
Comes - (compulsive eater)
Late - (liquid drinker)
To - (traditional overeater)
Esther + - (environmental eater)
Greg's - (gastronomic overeater)
Social - (snacker)
Calm - (convalescent overeater)
Down! - (chronic dieter)

And my personal favourite!

...chemicals found in water
Colin Falls Continually Next to Legolas Of Mirkwood (calcium, fluoride, chlorine, nitrates, lead, organic chemicals, microorganisms)


P.S. this is an insanely useless post!

Until next time,
au revoir

#25: Historical Wing Night

#25: If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

I love this question. But it's hard to answer. There's so many great people to choose from.

I can't choose.

There's Jesus. But the thing is, I will get to have dinner with him one day, I believe.

There's my favourite Beatle: John Lennon. I'd love to talk to him about his music, and his life, and his mind, and his relationship with McCartney. He was such a funny and interesting man.

There's Jonah. Who doesn't wanna have a conversation with this dude!? He was a whale/fish for 3 days! And I suspect we won't be eating seafood, that's for sure.

There's Abraham Lincoln. Because, yeah? He's a cool dude.

There's Ronald Reagan. Because he was interesting.

There's Tolkien. Duh, do you guys know me at all? I'd love to talk to him about his writing, and Jesus, and his relationship with C.S. Lewis. Heck, I'd just like to sit at a table with these two and listen to their intellectual conversation. I don't even need to be in the conversation. I probably wouldn't be smart enough anyway.

There you have it. People I'd love to have dinner with. I'm sure there's many more that I can't think of.

Oh, and what would we eat?

Wings.

Just wings.

Lots of wings.

"Historical Wing Night"

I really want wings now.  

#24: Taste Some Fiction

#24: Describe the 3 best books you've ever read and what you like about them.

Yes, I know. I changed the question. Sue me. I didn't really know how to answer the previous question, so I decided not to. And in light of the fact that I'm currently reading like 5 books at the same time, and I will probably be reading LOTS over the Christmas break, I decided to share with you the best books I've ever read.

1. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
Ignore the "Motion Picture Trilogy" at the bottom of the picture. It's hard to find a nice-looking cover picture for this book, so this is the movie poster. Janessa can't talk about books and not mention this beauty. (Did I really just refer to myself in the 3rd person!? It's been a weird week.) In my opinion, along with many others who share this opinion, this is the greatest story ever written. It is the ultimate good vs. evil tale. It has everything: love, war, passion, wisdom, endurance, humor, imagination, etc.. Everything everyone loves about a good story. Tolkien nailed it. I also must add that I have great respect for Tolkien, as both an author and a human being. He was a very wise individual. Also, yes, I am aware that this is actually three books, but it was really meant to be just one.


2. Adam by Ted Dekker 
I am a huge fan of Ted Dekker, he is such a good writer. If you haven't read any of his books, you are doing life wrong. (I'm kidding. Okay, maybe not.) But I must warn you: it's probably a good idea to read his books, especially Adam, in broad daylight. Meaning, do not read it before you go to bed. His books are thrillers. He writes with such honesty and such realism that it is actually scary. His books are so life-like. Adam is no exception. In a nutshell, it's a story about a serial killer and the man who is trying to track him down. Here is a review: "We have to keep telling ourselves that this is fiction. At the same time, we can't help thinking that not only could it happen, but that it will happen if we're not careful." (the authors of The Dark Sacrament)






3. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
It's been a couple years since I've read this one. I used to read it at least once a year. It is a brilliant book. And I believe it should be among the books that every single person should read in their lifetime. Confession though, I really disliked the movie version. It didn't follow the book accurately enough for me. Anne Hathaway, in my opinion, didn't do a very good job portraying the essence of Ella's character (boy do I sound like a geek). I also don't think it captured the 'reverse fairy-tale' vibe that Levine implied in the book. And don't even get me started on the 'prince'. Anyway, don't watch the movie if you want an accurate perspective of the book. (I apologize to anyone reading this that happened to like the movie.) It's your typical fairy-tale, with some trolls and things added, along with a dash of feminism. I love it.



So there you have it. Those are probably my top three favourite books I've ever read. Although, it is extremely hard to pick them out. These are also the three books that I've loved the longest probably. I'm thinking of doing this book thing more often (kind of like what I do with music). It might encourage me to completely read through one book, instead of reading five books at once.

Until next time,
au revoir