#26: What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
This is a good question. At first, I had no idea what to say. I spent some time googling what other bloggers have said and nothing really resonated with me. Some people wrote about politics, religion, and other stuff like that. I can't tell you how many blogs I came across that used this question to rant about homosexuality, but it was quite a few. (I actually lost count after about 15.) But then it came to me. I have no idea why this didn't come to me earlier, it certainly seems like an answer I'd have right off the bat.
My answer: SOUL MATES
I think the notion of soul mates is absolutely ridiculous. I, maybe, believed in soul mates for about 5 minutes. When I was 15. And stupid. Maybe "stupid" is too strong of a word. Naive.
I don't believe in soul mates for these reasons...
1) I don't like the idea of the person I'm going to marry being picked out for me already. This seems selfish, but personally, I'd like to have a say.
2) It's kind of cruel when you think about. So, basically, what the world is telling me is that God plopped me and some guy somewhere on this earth, and we're supposed to find each other? This notion causes way too many 'what if' questions in my head. What if I got plopped in Canada while my so-called soul mate got plopped in China? What if I never make it to China? What if my so-called soul mate thinks he's gay? What if my so-called soul mate has already gotten hit by a bus!? (Mine probably has, if he exists.)
3) The belief in soul mates kind of implies that one of your major life goals is to find said person. I can't speak for other people, but finding a marriage partner is not a top priority for me. And honestly, I don't think it should be for anyone. (Some people must be just going crazy right now after reading that.) Finding salvation should be higher than that. Living life in the present instead of dreaming about the future should be higher than that. Your goal in life shouldn't be to go out searching for that perfect person, nor should it be to sit around and wait for that person to come to you. Yes, go out and live. But don't do it for those reasons.
4) That inevitable "maybe he's the one" attitude. I'm pretty sure every girl has experienced this at some point in her life. Every single guy you meet that talks to you or is even remotely nice to you, there's always a little voice in the back of your head that says "maybe he's the one and we'll fall in love and live happily ever after". (I love fairytales, but I also really hate them.)
5) The belief in soul mates implies that there is somebody out there for everybody. I hate to break it to ya, but sometimes people stay single. And do you know what? That's okay!!! Bold, in italics, underlined and exclaimed! Another popular notion that I think the world (especially the Christian world) has all wrong is that marriage is something that everyone's destined to. Have you ever been to a church service when the pastor is giving a sermon series or stand-alone sermon on marriage? They seem to always wiggle this statement into their opening words: "And for the singles in the congregation, you can apply this stuff when you do eventually get married." When, not if. Eventually too. Because it's so tedious that you're not married yet. *Sarcasm Alert* (Confession: I purposely don't go to church for a few weekends when there's a message series on marriage happening. Does that make me a bad Christian?) Sorry for the mini-rant.
6) The belief in soul mates implies that there is a chance you could marry the wrong person. I'm not married, so I don't really know anything. (And I often don't hear marriage sermons because I purposely don't go, so I apparently really don't know anything.) But I could foresee this being a problem: You get married. Everything's great. But then maybe you change, or your spouse changes, or the novelty of marriage begins to wear off. And you begin to think: "Maybe I didn't marry my soul mate." Or you meet someone else that you're more compatible with and you think: "Maybe this person is my soul mate, not the person I'm married to."
I like what one of my church friends said once: the person becomes your soul mate after you marry them.
So that is my answer to said question in a nutshell. There isn't some guy out there waiting to find me, nor is there some guy out there waiting to be found by me. Some people are called to singleness. Stop treating that calling like it's taboo. Like it's a bad thing.
Marriage is not the only place love is found in.
Before I go off on another rant...
au revoir
If interested, here are some additional blog posts to read by other bloggers on the topic of singleness and stuff of that sort...
Surviving Church as a Single by Jon Acuff
Singles & the Church: Why It Sucks to Be Unintentionally Overlooked by Kate Hurley
Single & Not Waiting by Rachel Selinger
My Husband is Not My Soul Mate by Hannah @ theartinmylife
